It is difficult for many people to create a balance between their professional and their personal life. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#people #balance #life

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Many individuals find it hard to differentiate their lives personally & professionally in the same amount. Since

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

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Verb problem

have

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an emotional well-being, it is only obvious that sometimes we act

according to

Linking Words

our feelings & ambitions.

Furthermore

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people

Use synonyms

might have responsibilities that they can not just abandon. In my opinion,

this

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problem could be prevented with the policies that companies have. To start with,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society these days

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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very

competing

Replace the word

competitive

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. They have created

this

Linking Words

thing called toxic productivity. In which,

people

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are compensating all of their free time to work with an ambition of being the most

succesful

Correct your spelling

successful

. As a matter of fact,

people

Use synonyms

are driven too much by their ego and ambitions which lead to them losing track of time.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they might be the main provider for their family, and it is reasonable for them to

might

Verb problem

apply

show examples

want to present the best.

For instance

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, a father is working all the time, to provide his daughter with good a education.

However

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, there are things that companies could do to prevent these situations. It relies on the policies that they have.

For example

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, they could provide their employees with an ideal salary.

Consequently

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can make sure that the workers are not underpaid.

Furthermore

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, they

also

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could set the right amount of leave days. In my experience, there are

employess

Correct your spelling

employees

employers

that constantly get their applications of leave rejected.

This

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will not create a good work-life balanced life.

Additionally

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, the most important part is for the company to set their strict working hours. In conclusion, it is reasonable for

people

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to get lost between their

profesional

Correct your spelling

professional

& personal

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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due to

Linking Words

human nature. But there are

also

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preventive actions that could be done by the company.

Submitted by iigness05 on Tue Jan 07 2025

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the main points of each paragraph directly support your overall argument. Consider using connecting words and phrases to better guide readers through your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are sound, but try to enhance your introduction by clearly stating the main argument you wish to develop in the essay.

task achievement

To improve task response, make sure to address both parts of the question equally and provide an in-depth exploration of the causes and solutions.

task achievement

Try to expand on your examples with more specific details to illustrate your points more effectively. This will make your arguments more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame the essay.

task achievement

The essay attempts to address both the causes of the problem and potential solutions, demonstrating an understanding of the task.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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It is difficult for many people to create a balance between their professional and their personal life. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

it is believed that children from countries with high level of unemployment should be offered only primary education and should noy be offered secondary education as it unlikely that they will get a job in the future anyway. do you agree or disagree?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.