Some people believe that individuals should be allowed to own a gun as a means to protect themselves and their families. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

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It is thought that individuals should possess firearms to ensure the safety of their families and themselves.
This
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essay completely disagrees with
this
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statement because possession of
weapons
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increases risks and accidents in communities
along with
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difficulty in regulating them. On the one hand, possessing
guns
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for protecting family members or themselves is unreasonable
due to
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these
weapons
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raise risk rates in some situations.
For example
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, children are very curious and the likelihood of shooting accidents if their parents have not hidden the
gun
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carefully.
Additionally
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, these
guns
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might be used by irresponsible people and use them even in unimportant situations
such
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as high school in Serbia one of the students used his father’s
gun
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and shot ten of his classmates and two teachers because they old argued with with him.
Hence
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, nowadays every country has a police and authorities to protect citizens no need to have a
gun
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to ensure security. Another reason if everyone has a
gun
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that means the government is incapable of regulating these
weapons
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.
Guns
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have serial numbers and authorities must have
this
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information, but when everyone has the right to have one. It will be difficult to collect all these numbers and even some will possess a
gun
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without a license.
For instance
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, some murder crimes-related
guns
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are unsolved because it is difficult to know without the information the weapon used.
However
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, possession
a
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of
show examples
guns
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encourages violence and crime in our society. In conclusion,
although
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guns
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provide security and safety for individuals or their families, I would argue that
weapons
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increase the risks and accidents which are more hazardous to society.
Additionally
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, there are difficulties in regulating them by the government which likely raises crime in many countries.
Submitted by ghazl.1998g on

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Grammar and Sentence Structure
Improve grammar and sentence structure in certain areas, e.g., 'These guns might be used by irresponsible people and use them even in unimportant situations.'
Clarity
Clarify points that could be slightly confusing, such as 'Hence, nowadays every country has a police and authorities to protect citizens no need to have a gun to ensure security.' A clearer distinction between state protection versus individual protection would be helpful.
Introduction
You presented a clear and direct introduction, clearly stating your position on the issue.
Examples
You offered specific examples such as the Serbian incident, which strengthens your argument effectively.
Conclusion
Conclusion is well-restated and directly ties back to the main points in the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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