Parents should not pressure their children to choose particular profession. Young people should have the freedom to choose path they like. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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There has been

ongonig

Correct your spelling

ongoing

debate about whether youngsters have to pick their future jobs. Some argue that

children

Use synonyms

have to choose freely their future,

while

Linking Words

others believe that

they

Add a verb

they are

they were

show examples

still immature to big decisions like that.

While

Linking Words

I agree that choosing a

profession

Use synonyms

dapands

Correct your spelling

depends

solely on young

preferance

Correct your spelling

preference

and which job will provide them with both

happines

Correct your spelling

happiness

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and productive

life

Use synonyms

. I believe other factors

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

guidance, and

consulation

Correct your spelling

consultation

also

Linking Words

play a significant role in helping them decide wisely without any type of pressure. One significant reason why I agree to be a

Use synonyms

children free

Add a hyphen

children-free

show examples

decision

Use synonyms

is that they will live for the next 40 years in

this

Linking Words

profssion

Correct your spelling

profession

. We need to put

ourselfs

Correct your spelling

ourselves

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

their shoes

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when they live the next 40 years they need to live it based on their own

decision

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, which will make them more productive in their

profession

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, and happier in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, football players most of the time fight

parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

show examples

regarding their

choose

Replace the word

choice

show examples

to be

Correct the article-noun agreement

a profession player

profession players

show examples

profession

Use synonyms

players,

while

Linking Words

they dream

to master

Change preposition

of mastering

show examples

the game, their

parents

Change to a genitive case

parent's

parents'

show examples

thoughts and hopes go towards other professions

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Dentistry, or engineering.

This

Linking Words

clearly shows that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

regardless of our good

intensions

Correct your spelling

intentions

show examples

to help our

children

Use synonyms

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

show examples

in the best

colleages

Correct your spelling

colleagues

colleges

, which in turn leads to

prestigious

Add an article

the prestigious

show examples

Use synonyms

profession

Fix the agreement mistake

professions

show examples

, we need to look

Change preposition

at it

show examples

from another angle. which is after all, who is going to live

this

Linking Words

life

Use synonyms

me or my child ? Another reason why choose a particular

profession

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

own

decision

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

valuable beyond just salary is that

enhance

Correct subject-verb agreement

enhances

show examples

personal development and responsibility.

Use synonyms

Decision making

Add a hyphen

Decision-making

show examples

result

Fix the agreement mistake

results

show examples

resbonsibility

Correct your spelling

responsibility

, and

increase

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

confidance

Correct your spelling

confidence

. studies have shown that people

Correct pronoun usage

who chose

show examples

chose

Wrong verb form

choose

show examples

their

profession

Use synonyms

tend to score higher

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the happines

show examples

happines

Correct your spelling

happiness

scale, and have a wider perspective

Change preposition

show examples

the world. To demonstrate that,

Use synonyms

decision making

Add a hyphen

decision-making

show examples

contributea

Correct your spelling

contribute

contributed

contributes

significantly

Change preposition

show examples

taking responsibility which

led

Wrong verb form

leads

show examples

happier

Add an article

a happier

show examples

life

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

some people argue that,

selection

Correct article usage

the selection

show examples

of the future

carrer

Correct your spelling

career

is part of

Correct article usage

the parents

show examples

parents

Change noun form

parents'

parent's

show examples

responsibility, I firmely believe that

select

Replace the word

selection

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

to be a

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

responsability

Correct your spelling

responsibility

without any type of pressure.

Consequencly

Correct your spelling

Consequently

lead to

happier

Add an article

a happier

show examples

, and

productive

Correct quantifier usage

more productive

show examples

life

Use synonyms

m.e.a1434Tue Jan 07 2025

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task achievement

Improve spelling and grammar. There are spelling errors and grammatical inaccuracies that need attention, such as 'ongoning' (should be 'ongoing'), 'dapands' (should be 'depends'), 'profssion' (should be 'profession'), 'colleages' (should be 'colleges'), and 'responsability' (should be 'responsibility').

coherence cohesion

Refine the logical structure of your arguments. Transitions between ideas should be smoother to enhance the logical progression of your essay.

task achievement

Use more specific examples. While the football player example is relevant, adding more diverse examples could strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

Your introduction provides a clear position and outlines the key arguments you'll develop.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarises your stance and the key points discussed.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a logical flow of ideas and solid argumentation, maintaining relevance to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
56
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

347 words

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Parents should not pressure their children to choose particular profession. Young people should have the freedom to choose path they like. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your experiences.

Wealthy countries should acceptor refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

The health benefits of physical exercise are well-known. Despite this, a lot of people do not exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this? What could be done to encourage them to exercise more?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.