It is recommended by some lawmakers to punish the parents in place of their children who have commited less serious crimes like disorderly conduct or theft. They say that this will force parents to become more responsible in taking care of their children. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

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Accusing
parents
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of unregulated actions done by their offspring is suggested by some law enforcement.
However
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, others believe
this
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method wouldn’t affect the rate of general
children
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's false activities. I utterly agree with the former opinion. Making adults responsible for their under-aged
children
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's behaviour will obligate them to concentrate on their upbringing. It means that they must understand that any flaws in their roles as
parents
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may result in undesirable consequences.
For instance
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, careless
parents
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who do not follow the child and his peer's criminal activities may end up in jail because of robbery or murder.
Additionally
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, it mandates them to review various aspects of students
such
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as moral status every now and
then
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at academic institutes to see if there are any defects.
For example
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, negative feedback from school establishments should be an alarm for adults to check with a psychologist for any psychiatric disorders. Putting these kinds of laws in place will
also
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improve ignored
children
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's status at home. As it will trigger
parents
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to pay more attention to them and provide a better and more desirable environment. It has been shown that kids who have stronger bonds with their
parents
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and live in a more stable atmosphere would less probably engage in anti-social activities.
In other words
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, most of the teenagers who are detained in underaged prisons come from damaged families like divorced couples, criminal backgrounds and instability at home.
Moreover
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,
this
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legislation redirects governments' attention to prevention and supervising
parents
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' responsibilities toward their offspring. In conclusion,
although
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a minority might argue that genetic disorders and society have an important impact on an individual's behaviour,
this
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mindset should be refuted because laws like
this
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magnify
parents
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' parts in investigating these disorders and guide their
children
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on a safe path in our chaotic world.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Strengthen the logical connections between ideas within paragraphs. Occasionally, ideas advance without explicitly connecting to previous ones.
Task Achievement
Provide further elaboration on certain points. For instance, delve deeper into why specifically some lawmakers advocate for punishing parents.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and a well-rounded conclusion, effectively summarizing your stance.
Task Achievement
The main points are clearly articulated and generally supported with examples, demonstrating good comprehension.
Task Achievement
Good use of specific examples helps clarify and support the main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accountability
  • upbringing
  • supervision
  • guidance
  • vigilant
  • monitoring
  • deterrent
  • societal rules
  • peer pressure
  • societal influences
  • penalizing
  • genuinely
  • circumstances
  • correcting misconduct
  • counseling
  • support system
  • external factors
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