IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below gives information about student enrolments at Manchester University in 1937, 1967 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about student enrolments at Manchester University in 1937, 1967 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #student #enrolments #manchester #university #summarise #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table
illustates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the
students
Use synonyms
 who registered at
Manchester
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 in 03 various years, namely 1937,1967 and 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 came to study
2017
Change preposition
in 2017
show examples
 than the other
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
years. In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
 it was notably
incerased
Correct your spelling
increased
.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 significant factor was foreign
students
Use synonyms
 can be seen increased as a huge percentage.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, female
students
Use synonyms
 entered
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
university
Use synonyms
 45% in 1937 , but it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
35%
in1967
Correct your spelling
in 1967
while
Linking Words
 male
students
Use synonyms
 registered to the
university
Use synonyms
 65% in 1967.
However
Linking Words
, girls percentage higher in 10% than boys in 2017.
Intially
Correct your spelling
Initially
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 come to
university
Use synonyms
 within 40 miles of
Use synonyms
manchester
Capitalize word
Manchester
show examples
, it
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
55%. After 1967 it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined slightly
15
Change preposition
to 15
show examples
% and it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped below 1-2% in 2017. Begging of
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1937 can be seen only 4
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
students
Use synonyms
 came to get higher education to
Manchester
Use synonyms
.It was changed in 1967 ,
7
Correct word choice
and 7
show examples
% of foreign
students
Use synonyms
 came from 26 countries whine 2017 earmarked for overseas
students
Use synonyms
, because it was
upto
Correct your spelling
to
 32%
102
Change preposition
of 102
show examples
countries
Change noun form
countries'
show examples
students
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 come to study from
Use synonyms
manchester
Capitalize word
Manchester
show examples
.
Submitted by sihansinethushalani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, manchester, university with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrolment numbers
  • increase/decrease in student numbers
  • post-war baby boom
  • globalization
  • technological advancement
  • education accessibility
  • demographic changes
  • overseas students
  • gender representation in education
  • international reputation
  • higher education
  • university capacity
  • social factors
  • economic influences
  • political factors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: