Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times.They don't wantbtheir children tobread any entertainment books because they think it is a waste of time.Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?why?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many parents force their
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to read just serious educational
books
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at all times . They would not their children to read any entertainment
books
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In my opinion. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
I strongly
dissagree
Correct your spelling
disagree

If you don’t want dissagree to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement for many reasons
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

show examples
will present it .
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with , when parents want their
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to read only
books
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

related
with
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
education and avoid any enjoyable
books
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, that would
causes
Change the verb form
cause

The verb causes after the modal verb would does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
enormous issues in
tems
Correct your spelling
terms

If you don’t want tems to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of mental health and make them hate reading
books
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Regarding mental health our Brin
designed
Add a missing verb
is designed

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
to desire happiness so when
kids
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

stock
Verb problem
are

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
with educated the will destroy their
Brin
Correct your spelling
BRIN

The word Brin doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
function which leads to depression and stress
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can have
Wrong verb form
has

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb can have. Consider changing it.

show examples
a negative effect on
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
well-being ,
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there were scientific studies showcased that 70 of children who spent their time on one kind of book they collapse their curiosity
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

creativity With regard to , reading too
much book
Fix the agreement mistake
many books

It seems that much book may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
in
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics

It seems that academic may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
ever
Correct your spelling
every

The word ever doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day

It seems that days may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
will easier make the children hate reading
books
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

at all because it is obvious that
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents

It seems that the verb prevent does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
the
kiddbe
Correct your spelling
kiddie

If you don’t want kiddbe to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. They
life
Replace the word
live

The word life doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
under pressure and
stressful
Replace the word
stress

The word stressful doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

no
Add a missing verb
having no

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
time
tp
Correct your spelling
to

The word tp doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
studay
Correct your spelling
study

If you don’t want studay to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
The essay could benefit from a clearer introduction and conclusion sections to help frame your arguments better.
logical structure
The flow between sentences and paragraphs can be improved for stronger coherence.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure ideas are fully developed and expressed comprehensively to enhance clarity.
complete response
The essay addresses the task by stating a clear opinion and providing reasons.
supported main points
Main points are relevant and support your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: