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Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times.They don't wantbtheir children tobread any entertainment books because they think it is a waste of time.Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?why?

#parents #children #books #times #wantbtheir #tobread #entertainment #waste #time
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Many parents force their
kids
Use synonyms
 to read just serious educational
books
Use synonyms
 at all times . They would not their children to read any entertainment
books
Use synonyms
 . In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I strongly
dissagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement for many reasons
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will present it .
To begin
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 with , when parents want their
kids
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 to read only
books
Use synonyms
 related
with
Change preposition
to
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 education and avoid any enjoyable
books
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 , that would
causes
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cause
show examples
 enormous issues in
tems
Correct your spelling
terms
 of mental health and make them hate reading
books
Use synonyms
 . Regarding mental health our Brin
designed
Add a missing verb
is designed
show examples
 to desire happiness so when
kids
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stock
Verb problem
are
show examples
 with educated the will destroy their
Brin
Correct your spelling
BRIN
show examples
 function which leads to depression and stress
also
Linking Words
can have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 a negative effect on
Use synonyms
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
show examples
 well-being ,
for instance
Linking Words
 there were scientific studies showcased that 70 of children who spent their time on one kind of book they collapse their curiosity
as well as
Linking Words
 creativity With regard to , reading too
much book
Fix the agreement mistake
many books
show examples
 in
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
ever
Correct your spelling
every
show examples
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
 will easier make the children hate reading
books
Use synonyms
 at all because it is obvious that
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
show examples
 the
kiddbe
Correct your spelling
kiddie
. They
life
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live
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 under pressure and
stressful
Replace the word
stress
show examples
due to
Linking Words
no
Add a missing verb
having no
show examples
 time
tp
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
studay
Correct your spelling
study
.
Submitted by rwnalanezi on

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introduction conclusion present
The essay could benefit from a clearer introduction and conclusion sections to help frame your arguments better.
logical structure
The flow between sentences and paragraphs can be improved for stronger coherence.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure ideas are fully developed and expressed comprehensively to enhance clarity.
complete response
The essay addresses the task by stating a clear opinion and providing reasons.
supported main points
Main points are relevant and support your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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