The increase in the production of consumer goods (food, clothing) results in damage to the natural environment. What is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this problem?
The more and more
production
of consumer goods (food, clothing) results in damage to the natural environment
. It is the result of the exploitation of natural resources without any consideration of the environmental impact
and the company
discharges its waste
directly into the environment
. Hence
, it is necessary for the government to supervise the company
and strengthen the environmental regulations
and use of advanced technology in their production
process.
A lot of companies tend to explore raw materials from nature as much as possible to gain more benefits to fulfil the production
target. This
impacts the surrounding environment
such
as degradation of soil quality
, deforestation and a decrease in the quality
of the air. Another thing is the companies discharge their waste
and emit pollutants into the atmosphere without processing it first. This
case can be found in many areas in Indonesia, such
as Jakarta, where many factories emit their emission into the atmosphere which puts Jakarta as one of the cities with the worst air quality
in the world.
Based on the above problems, there are several things that can be done by all of the parties. Firstly
, the government should supervise the business activities of the company
and ensure such
activities always comply with the regulations
. The authorities body should monitor the implementation of the environmental regulations
and encourage the company
to comply with them. Secondly
, the use of advanced technology which produces less emission and waste
will significantly reduce the negative impact
of such
business activity on the surrounding area. Furthermore
, Factories should process their waste
before discharge to the atmosphere and ensure the quality
meets the limitations of the regulations
.
To summarise, the increase in production
activity surely brings a negative impact
on the environment
but the involvement of the authority and good willingness of the businessmen can reduce the negative impact
on the environment
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured and covers all aspects of the task. However, a clearer differentiation between paragraphs addressing the causes and those providing solutions would enhance coherence.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your points, which will make your arguments more persuasive and robust.
task achievement
Work on refining some of your sentences to make them more concise and clear. Avoid repetition like 'more and more' and try to use varied vocabulary.
introduction
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and gives a solid overview of the essay's focus.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph logically flows from one to the next, which helps the reader follow your argument easily.
relevant specific examples
The essay provides relevant examples such as the situation in Jakarta, which supports your points well.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...