Scientist agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There are several
researchs
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research
researches
show that consuming
nomerous
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numerous
junk
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food
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has
adverse
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an adverse
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impact on
people
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's health. Some individuals suggest
that
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apply
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addresing
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addressing
this
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problem
with
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by
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educating
people
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,
while
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others disagree with
this
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concept. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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i
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I
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will discuss both sides and I strongly agree that
people
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can not change
this
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concept with education.
Overall
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, I
reitrate
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reiterate
reiterated
my view that strongly disagree that
people
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can not be changed the habit of
comsuming
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consuming
junk
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food
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by educations. because
junk
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food
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can reduce high pressure and they
disign
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design
with addiction. So I strongly recommend
government
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the government
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should control the
junk
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food
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company
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companies
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that
peoduce
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produce
produces
more
healtly
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healthy
and clean
junk
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food
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.
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task response
Although the essay presents an opinion, it could benefit from offering various perspectives with more depth and clarity in each.
task response
Provide concrete examples to strengthen arguments and evidence to bolster each viewpoint discussed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow from one point to another; connecting words and phrases could enhance cohesion.
coherence cohesion
A more detailed conclusion would strengthen the essay's impact, summarizing key points discussed.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the stage nicely by indicating that both viewpoints will be discussed, a good indication of a structured approach.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good framework for the discussion topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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