IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

1.Describe yourself, e.g., your interests, and particularly how you became interested in or involved with environmental issues. Why is the environment important to you?

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Growing up in a family whose both mother and father sides had jobs related to agriculture. My
grandparent
Fix the agreement mistake
grandparents
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 owned a large quantity of
lands
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land
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 in the north-eastern part of Thailand but those lands had no ownership right that could not do anything except agriculture, mainly rice puddles, and
cannot
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could not
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 be traded since they were allocated by the Agricultural Land Reform Office.
Therefore
Linking Words
, from generation to generation they have no other expertise
rather
Correct your spelling
other
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 than being rice puddle farmers.
Therefore
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, environmental issues that I am particularly interested
are
Change preposition
in are
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right
Correct article usage
the right
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 and ownership of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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resources, including lands, water and
forest
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forests
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, since Thailand is one of the
most
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apply
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countries that will get the impact the most and, of course,
low income
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low-income
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 people will get the impact the most, whether
economy
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economic
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and
Correct word choice
or
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 health problems.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I am
also
Linking Words
 interested in how to mitigate these threats or how to handle them by improving infrastructures,
Correct word choice
and propose
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propose
Wrong verb form
proposing
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 the new normal lifestyles. These solutions will not be able to happen if there
is
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are
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 no good policies.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Improve sentence clarity by restructuring longer sentences. For example, 'My grandparent owned a large quantity of lands in the north-eastern part of Thailand but those lands had no ownership right that could not do anything except agriculture, mainly rice puddles, and cannot be traded since they were allocated by the Agricultural Land Reform Office,' can be broken into two sentences for clarity.
Task Achievement
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details. Your interest in environmental issues is clear but could be more explicitly linked to your personal experiences. Consider starting the second paragraph with a clear statement of your interest and then provide examples.
Task Achievement
The essay provides relevant examples related to the environmental impacts in Thailand and personal interests, particularly focusing on agricultural backgrounds and policies.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraphs are generally well-organized and build on each other to support the main themes of the essay: personal background and interest in environmental issues.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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