IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The technology allowed us to have more ways to communicate. However, some people say that the internet and social network create more opportunities for conflicts and erase the line of respect and appropriateness. To what extent do you agree

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Technologies in the modern world have developed very quickly and are now present everywhere. Many
people
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 think that technology harms communication and respect on the
Internet
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. Others think that technology helps to develop and establish connections with
people
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. But I believe that it can be both beneficial because it
depending
Wrong verb form
depends
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 on how
people
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 are using it. On the one hand, the
Internet
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 is a source of hate speech.
People
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 anonymously write bad comments,
disrespect
Correct word choice
and disrespect
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 other
people
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's ideas. They are not afraid to be punished because they know that they will not come face to face with a person to whom they show negativity.
This
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 can lead to
Internet
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 bullying and
people
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 begin to be afraid to express their ideas.
Moreover
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, false information about
people
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 is often spread on the
Internet
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.
This
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 information is transmitted very quickly and it is very difficult to prove the correctness of
this
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. Especially often on the
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Internet
Add a comma
Internet,
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 there are disputes and the dissemination of false information about politics, economics and some popular personalities.
This
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 leads to the division of
people
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 into communities. And
this
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 divides society.
On the other hand
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, there are a lot of communities on the
Internet
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 for
people
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 interested in different topics. They bring together
people
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 from different countries. There are many platforms for building a joint business and working together on the
Internet
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.
As well as
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 sites on the
Internet
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 with doctors from other parts of the world, teachers, and relatives. They can all be contacted via the
Internet
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. In conclusion, the
Internet
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 has both big disadvantages and noticeable advantages. I think it is impossible to resort to extremes in
this
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 matter because
this
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 topic is very big. But I believe that the
Internet
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 will be the way
people
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 use it, and in order for everyone to be more comfortable,
people
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 need to respect each other on the
Internet
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.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Continue to enhance your coherent transition between ideas. Use linking words or phrases to ensure a smooth flow from one paragraph to the next.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to further substantiate your points. This will help to make your arguments more compelling and relatable.
Task Achievement
Try to develop your ideas in more depth to provide a more thorough examination of both sides of the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
The writer successfully discusses both advantages and disadvantages of technology in communication.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with paragraphs dedicated to specific points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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