People are surrounded by advertisement which has an increased effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effects of this outweigh the negative effects?

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In our era,
advertisement
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is ubiquitous, it is both online and offline, both physical and virtual, both chosen and unchosen. It seeps into our
live
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lives
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so much that it is hard not to be affected by it even if one
lives
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in the rural part of Africa.
While
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some find the benefits of
advertisement
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counter the
down sides
Correct your spelling
downsides
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it brings to our
lives
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. I hold another opinion against
this
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. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I am going to explain the reasons
behind
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behind this
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. First of all,
advertisement
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creates so much unnecessary consumption.
Advertisement
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exists to bring revenue to businesses. Yes, sometimes it solves people's
problem
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problems
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by introducing them
with
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to
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products or services that they are not aware of. Yet, in most cases, those are only the
derivitives
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derivatives
of bringing wealth to the rich. Think about your
last
Linking Words
impulse buying. How much of
that is
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triggered by an
advertisement
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you did not expect to see
.
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?
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If it
is
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were
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not for the
advertisement
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, the
resource
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resources
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of the planet
can
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could
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be better reserved for things that are more in need.
On the other hand
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, in the grand scheme of things,
advertisement
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is not just about consumption but
also
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it is a parasite that
lives
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in people's
brain
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brains
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and
consume
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consumes
show examples
what they think and how they think about the world around them. In my
opnion
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opinion
,
this
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is the worst part of it. It stifles human's ability to think critically.
This
Linking Words
is because not only products and services and be advertised but
also
Linking Words
ideology. An example is that with beauty brands emphasizing
on
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apply
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the need to
staying
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stay
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young and beautiful despite biological age,
this
Linking Words
ideology gets spread around the world with alternative forms of
advertisement
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by individual social media users, resulting in an endless
pursue
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pursuit
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and comparison of youth and appearance.
This
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in
turns
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turn
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causes
detrimental
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a detrimental
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effect on people's
self esteem
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self-esteem
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because they falsely believe that
that is
Linking Words
the truth. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
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advertisement
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advertisements
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does
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do
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bring convenience to our
lives
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. There are more cons it brings to the table than the benefits it gives.
While
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it is inevitable to live in a world full of
Use synonyms
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
. Hopefully with industry regulations and education in awareness, the human race will be able to refrain from over-consumption and retain critical thinking ability.
Submitted by josefacheang on

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task achievement
Strengthen the argument by providing more specific examples and evidence to support your points. It will help in illustrating your ideas more clearly to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent tone and ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next. Clear transitions will enhance the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly articulate the main argument and summarize the points discussed.
task achievement
The writer presents a clear viewpoint throughout the essay, which aligns well with the question asked.
task achievement
The essay presents a thoughtful perspective on how advertisement affects consumption and critical thinking, demonstrating an understanding of complex issues.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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