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Writing Samples
Band 3

The pie chat below shows the main reason why agriculture land become less productive. Table source how the cause effect 3 reason of the world during the 1990

#chat #reason #agriculture #land #source #effect #world
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The pie chart
demonstrate
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demonstrates
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 the cause of worldwide
land
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degradation
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as well as
Linking Words
 the table illustrates the causes of
land
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 being less productive in
thee
Correct pronoun usage
three
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 different regions
North
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of North
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America
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,
Europe
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 and
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ocean
Correct article usage
the ocean
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 during 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is readily apparent that overgrazing is the main
reason
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of
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for
show examples
 cultivated area
degradation
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while
Linking Words
on the other
Linking Words
hand
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hand,
show examples
Europe
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 is the
reason
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with
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for
show examples
 High
degradation
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whereas
Linking Words
 North
America
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 has
least
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the least
show examples
degradation
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 of
land
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. A
detail
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detailed
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 examination of
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
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 chart reveals people are using cultivated
land
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 to Graze their
animal
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animals
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 and it is the main
reason
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Less productivity with 35%.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
deforestation
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 is another alarming cause with a
percent
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percentage
show examples
 of 30 for soil fertility destruction.
Similarly
Linking Words
over
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apply
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cultivation is 28% responsible for
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decline
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the decline
a decline
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 in soil productivity.
Linking Words
Also
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Also,
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 other various
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reason
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reasons
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 have
7
Correct article usage
a 7
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% contribution in
land
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degradation
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. From the
table
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table,
show examples
it is clear that
Linking Words
Europe
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 is the
reason
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 with
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
deforestation
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 and
over cultivation
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over-cultivation
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 that has
degrade
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degraded
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 the
land
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 by 9.8% and 7.7% respectively,
where as
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whereas
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 overgrazing is below the
ocean
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in
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apply
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causing
5.5
Correct article usage
a 5.5
show examples
%
decline
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 in
land
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perductivity
Correct your spelling
productivity
. In
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ocean
Add an article
the ocean
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overgrazing is the highest 11.3% in comparison to North
America
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 and
Europe
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. In
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ocean
Add an article
the ocean
show examples
 there was
deforestation
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 has
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
1.7
Correct article usage
a 1.7
show examples
%
decline
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 in
land
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 fertility.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
North
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in North
show examples
America
Use synonyms
deforestation
Use synonyms
 has
Use synonyms
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
land
Use synonyms
 fertility by 0.2% and 3.3% of
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cultivation
also
Linking Words
 1.5% of overgrazing.
Submitted by anjubashyal39 on

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Grammar & Spelling
There are several spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'the reason with High degradation' which should be 'the region with high degradation.' Consistent proofreading will help enhance clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly transitions to the next, and consider using more cohesive devices like transition words to make the essay flow more smoothly.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task but could provide more detailed specific examples or explanations for why overgrazing, deforestation, and over cultivation lead to land degradation.
Introduction
The introduction provides an overview of the visual information and sets up the subsequent discussion effectively.
Understanding Data
The essay correctly identifies overgrazing as the main global cause of land degradation, which demonstrates an understanding of the presented data.
Analytical Skills
There is a comparison of the different regional impacts, showing an attempt to analyze and contrast the data.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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