Many people find it hard to balance their work with other parts of their lives. What are the reasons for this How can this problem be overcome

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A fraction of people believe that it is difficult to balance their
work
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with other things in their routine.
While
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others show the opposite. In my opinion,
time
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management is essential to your
work
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and other facilities. In
this
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essay, we will discuss
this
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trouble with solutions. On the one hand, life is crowded because many tasks and
work
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that we have every
day
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. So, a random lifestyle is unwanted.
In addition
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, some people have a lot of useless things in their
day
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.
Such
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as watching TV for 5 hours a
day
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.
As a result
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, he would not get free
time
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for necessities.
Furthermore
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, a lack of interest in what types of routine items is the primary cause of
this
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problem. It's important to plan and balance your program.
For example
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, a Japanese authority launched an app in 2019. the main idea was to create your notes for
work
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and other parts of your
day
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with some suggestions. The results were a massive success in the app store.
On the other hand
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, the government is searching for a solution to fix
this
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problem.
Firstly
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, they asked the companies to give their employees enough
time
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and rest to attention to their families and some activities.
Secondly
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, the request for help is a great choice to complete the missions in less
time
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with workmates, friends or family. The third point is make to a to-do list. American researcher called Ganson.
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
started a statistics on three thousand people to explore
this
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new way. So, they approved to continue outside the statistics In conclusion,
work
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and study are very important. But
also
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, we must have another facility in many different fields. To be honest, control of the
time
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is the first step. And select the best activities you would to have
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Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task and provides a general response, but lacks detailed coverage of key points, especially in providing specific examples and solutions. Try to expand on reasons why people find it hard to balance work and life, and offer more specific solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure. While the essay has an introduction and conclusion, it could benefit from clearer paragraphing and transitions. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a specific point supporting the essay topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen the main points with more examples, statistics, or studies to validate the arguments, helping to provide a clearer and more persuasive essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a good introduction that outlines the main issue and provides the writer’s stance, setting a clear direction for the essay.
Task Achievement
Attempts are made to present solutions, such as government involvement and time management techniques, demonstrating a proactive approach to the issue.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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