IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the country side. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#city #life #country #side
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There is an ongoing discourse about where is
the
Correct article usage
apply
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better to live in between a
city
Use synonyms
 and the
Use synonyms
country
Correct your spelling
countryside
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side
Use synonyms
. Some contend that it is better to live in a
city
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that living in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 countryside
has
Verb problem
is
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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more advantageous. First and
fore most
Correct your spelling
foremost
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, living in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the country
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country
Correct your spelling
countryside
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side
Use synonyms
 provides individuals
opportunities
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with opportunities
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 to get job opportunities rather than living in a
city
Use synonyms
. With the increase in encouragement for remote work, many
corporate
Replace the word
corporations
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 moved their offices to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
side
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Tesla has moved its corporate headquarters from California to Texas in 2021. Elon
musks
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Musk
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, who is co-founder of Tesla, highlighted Texas is known for its business-friendly policies, including
favorable
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favourable
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 tax regulations and fewer business restrictions, which can benefit corporate operations.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
corporates
Replace the word
corporations
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 are more likely to
moved
Wrong verb form
move
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its office
Fix the agreement mistake
their offices
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 to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Correct your spelling
countryside
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side
Use synonyms
, contributing to higher hiring opportunities compared to living in a
city
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, living in a
Use synonyms
country
Correct your spelling
countryside
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side
Use synonyms
 enables individuals to have financial benefits. Given
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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 real estate prices, living in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Correct your spelling
countryside
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side
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial than living in a
city
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
According to recent
Change preposition
Recent
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 research
by
Change preposition
apply
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— indicates that housing costs in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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120
Add a missing verb
are 120
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% lower, enabling individuals to save more money and enjoy a higher standard of living. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 many said living
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
city
Use synonyms
 is preferred, I maintain living in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
side
Use synonyms
 has more benefits.
Submitted by imagelim329 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction successfully presents the topic, but try to clearly outline what each paragraph will discuss to enhance logical structure. This will improve coherence and cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that states the main idea of that paragraph. This will help in organizing your points more effectively.
Task Achievement
When giving examples, ensure they directly support your main point. The example about Tesla is relevant, but could be linked more clearly to why it's better to live in the countryside.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument, reinforcing your opinion on the benefits of living in the countryside.
Task Achievement
You've managed to present both sides of the debate, acknowledging the opposing viewpoint before stating your own.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • infrastructure
  • metropolitan
  • rural
  • tranquility
  • pollution
  • congestion
  • fast-paced
  • idyllic
  • community cohesion
  • cultural diversity
  • amenities
  • lifestyle
  • employment opportunities
  • environmental quality
What to do next:
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