In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

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In some nations,
students
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go to
universities
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to
study
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while
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they are living with their
families
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,
whereas
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others go to
universities
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far away from their homes and live alone. Despite the high grades that they might get and the comfort that
students
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feel when they are living with their
families
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, I believe that living alone allows them to be more independent and gives them more experience and knowledge about life. Living with
families
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allows
students
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to have good grades and live comfortably.
This
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is because they have people to get support from when they feel unmotivated and depressed.
Also
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, they do not need to worry about chores or getting jobs because they live with their parents who provide them with money and support, so they can only focus on their studies to get high grades.
For example
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, a
study
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at Oxford University shows that
students
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who
study
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at
universities
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near them have higher levels than those who live far away from their
universities
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.
However
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, I think studying and living away from their parents' care is more beneficial.
Students
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who leave their
families
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to
study
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in different
universities
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are more independent and have the ability to overcome challenges. Living alone forces
students
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to step out of their comfort zone and encourages them to do housework and cook for themselves. They are forced to get a job to provide for themselves to pay for their needs which gives them a strong personality and the ability to balance between
study
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and work which might help them in the future to balance between work and their
families
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.
For instance
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, a
study
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by a company in the USA shows that most of the successful employers in jobs and family lives are those who get jobs when they
study
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. In conclusion,
although
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living with
families
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gives
students
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a comfortable life and a high level of education, I believe that studying alone in different cities helps them to depend only on themselves and have life experiences.
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coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use more linking words and phrases to serve as bridges between your ideas, ensuring your essay flows seamlessly from one point to the next.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples to support your arguments further. While your examples are relevant, more specific details or additional examples could strengthen your points.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively outlines and summarizes your main points.
task achievement
Your essay presents and argues a balanced view on both the benefits of living with family and living away during university.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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