Today, many people believe that celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

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In
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considerable
conciderable
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considerable
numbers of
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countries
contries
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countries
, reputation
eople
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people
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receive
recieve
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receive
higher wages tian older politicians
These
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This
show examples
issue goes back to some reasons and in my
view
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view,
show examples
it leads to some negative
approach
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approaches
show examples
and development.
This
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essay will discuss and delve
some
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into some
show examples
reasons
of
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for
show examples
this
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statement. It can be seen that many countries pay more
money
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to their famous
people
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than others. There are some main reasons for
this
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.
Primarilv
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Primarily
. they ponder that their culture and
their
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the
show examples
art of
thier
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their
country
goes
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go
show examples
back to the effect of famous
people
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.
As a result
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,
government
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the government
show examples
pay attention more to
pay
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paying
show examples
more
money
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to
celebrities
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and they try to keep them
satistied
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satisfied
due to
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their presence
omn
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on
televIsion
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television
show examples
and social media.
Moreover
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, a faction of
people
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are
fan
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fans
show examples
ot
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of
some
celebrities
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, especially in the cinema, so, actors use it
ad
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and
show examples
offer the highest wages to the
film maker
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film-maker
show examples
. They are forced to pay more
money
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to them for making films that
have
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are
show examples
popularity
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popular
show examples
among
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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. in
Hallywood
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Hollywood
.
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There
thre
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thre,
show examples
are some
celebrities
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that their
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whose
show examples
salaries are
veerv
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very
much. Most of the
people
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in
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each
eac
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EAC
show examples
counties
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countries
show examples
claim that
this
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trend has a
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negative
negatipe
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negative
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aspect
asspect
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effect
and improvement
Initially
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, some senior politicians have more knowledge and academic education, so,
the
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they
show examples
have to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
enough
money
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too. On the other
hands
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hand
show examples
. government do not have to put
diffrences
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differences
among
ordinatv
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ordinary
people
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and
celebrities
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.
In addition
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.
this
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pavment
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pavement
leads to
ordinarv
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ordinary
people
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are hated from
celebrities
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.
To sum up
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, paying attention more
from
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to
show examples
government
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the government
show examples
to famous
people
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and
also
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reputation
Correct pronoun usage
their reputation
show examples
cause
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causes
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
celebrities
Use synonyms
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
more
money
Use synonyms
compared
others
Change preposition
to others
show examples
. Some negative development
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
its outcome.
Submitted by mellika.sadeghi1 on

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general
Try to ensure all sentences are grammatically correct. Consider using tools like Grammarly or seeking feedback from a teacher.
task achievement
Attempt to include more specific examples that directly relate to the topic or arguments presented.
task achievement
You managed to discuss both reasons for the phenomenon and the consequences, which is a strong point in addressing the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay contains both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps structure your argument.
coherence and cohesion
You provide a clear linkage between higher wages of celebrities and societal factors, showing an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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