IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

#students #university #study #country #opportunity #development
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This
Linking Words
 past few years,
students
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 prefer to study abroad rather than studying in their own
country
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. There are advantages and disadvantages
from
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to
show examples
this
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 action. First of all, studying abroad gives a lot of
opportunity
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opportunities
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 for pupils to gain more knowledge.
Students
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 could learn more about the world and the education sector in that
country
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.
Furthermore
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, living abroad fosters self-discipline and
improving
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improves
show examples
 their own communication skills.
This
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occur
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occurs
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 because they are been
force
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forced
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 to communicate with local people and
mantain
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maintain
 their own life without any help from their loved ones. Studying outside their home
country
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give
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gives
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 them
chances
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chance
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 to expect a better future in their life.
Additionally
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, they could get more work opportunities.
However
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, pupils who prefer to study abroad could
also
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bring
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face
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 disadvantages.
This
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 could cause more
students
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tend
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apply
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to learn outside rather than in their home
country
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.
Moreover
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, it could increase
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students
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students'
student's
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 mindset that their own
country
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 has a bad education.
Besides
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 that, it could cause
studet
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students
student
 to prefer living abroad.
This
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 could lead to a significant drop
of
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in
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 young
people
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people's
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 contribution
in
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to
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 their own
country
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.
Furthermore
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, overseas
students
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 could bring habits that are not suitable for their own
country
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 . In conclusion, there are a lot of
positif
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positive
 and
ngeative
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negative
 things from studying abroad. It is
importany
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important
 for overseas
students
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 to
remmber
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remember
 their
hoeme
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home
country
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 and gain a lot of knowledge to improve their home. They should not forget the pace
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at where
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where
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which
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 they are born.
Submitted by Samoyedsoya on

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clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are generally clear, but some sentences could be simplified to improve understanding. Focus on using clear and precise language to express your points.
relevant specific examples
While you addressed both advantages and disadvantages, consider providing more specific examples to illustrate your points.
supported main points
Some ideas could be better supported with evidence or examples. Consider providing more detailed explanations to support your main points.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas discussed in your essay, providing a clear final perspective.
logical structure
The structure of your essay indicates an organized approach, with clear sections for introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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