In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Accessing the variety of international
foods
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purchased from supermarkets has
beed
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been
a vital topic of debate. I strongly believe that,
While
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there are some
benefits
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through
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to
show examples
this
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approach, the drawbacks
are overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh them
show examples
, which will be
disussed
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discussed
by compelling reasons. First of all,
distribution
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the distribution
show examples
a
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of a
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variety of different
foods
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all over the world has brought various
benefits
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for both people and societies as a whole, leading to
cultrual
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cultural
exchange.
Thus
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,
this
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approach not only brings financial
benefits
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for societies, through exporting their
food
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products around the world
,
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apply
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  but
also
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offers convenience for citizens.
For instance
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, consider a young girl who lives in the
middle east
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Middle East
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and has a strong desire
to
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for
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japaneese
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Japanese
food
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,
such
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as
soshi
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sushi
.
As a result
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, international
food
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prouced
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produced
available in local supermarkets can
brings
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bring
show examples
an
apportunity
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opportunity
for her to buy
soshi
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sushi
in a
conveniet
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convenient
way.
Conversely
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, buying international
food
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produced can lead to detrimental consequences,
such
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as increasing carbon dioxide.
Therefore
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, exporting and
transering
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transferring
transporting
various
foods
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to abroad by planes can result in
the
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an
show examples
increase
of
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in
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carbon footprints. The more
foods
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the societies produce to export, the more likely the carbon dioxide has increased in the environment.
Moreover
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, these kinds of products often sell
in
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at
show examples
far higher prices,
therefore
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it would be not affordable for many people to purchase them. A prime illustration of
this
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is
a
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apply
show examples
salemon
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salmon
fish, which
sell
Wrong verb form
is sold
show examples
around the world
on
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at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
high price, so if
Add an article
the citizen
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citizen
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citizens
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in developing countries
could not
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cannot
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buy them, these products
turned
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would finally turn
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to waste
Rephrase
apply
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finally
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.  In conclusion,
although
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distribution
Correct article usage
the distribution
show examples
Use synonyms
food
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of food
show examples
produced can bring some
benefits
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the drawbacks should not be overlooked, I strongly believe that the drawbacks
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
the
benefits
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such
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as increasing
cabron
Correct your spelling
carbon
dioxide.
Submitted by mahanz on

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accuracy
Ensure accurate spelling in words like 'sushi' and 'produced'.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your points, such as elaborating more on cultural exchange.
task achievement
Clarify complex ideas to improve comprehension and reader engagement.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which present your views effectively, contributing well to coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, indicating a complete response to the task.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is easy to follow, with distinct paragraphs for different points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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