In some cultures, childeren are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving childeren this message?

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Giving advice for children
become
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becomes
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one of the ultimate
way
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ways
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to keep them stay motivated and keep
learned
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learning
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. In some particular values, young people are usually advocated by
Use synonyms
words
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the words
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"achieve everything will be possible if we are keep largely try it".
While
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it
content
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has
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far more positive influence,
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however
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however,
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there are some inherent drawbacks that can lead them to act negatively.
This
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essay will discuss both
of
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apply
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the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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message as well.
To begin
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with, the benefit of those
words
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is neglecting kids
easy to
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easily
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give up before they try
in
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apply
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many times. A student,
for instance
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, is intending to get higher academic in a math subject.
Accordingly
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, the parents will motivate them to learn more
meticulous
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meticulously
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in
numeric
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numeracy
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depending on their grade. By to study time to time, they will
immersing
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immerse
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theirselves
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themselves
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into
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in
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the subject
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and become
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become
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becomes
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deeper, thereby
let
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letting
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them find the solution easier and faster.
Besides
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that,
this
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advice will
also
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can
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apply
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stimulate their skills in
problem solving
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problem-solving
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.
Additionally
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,
hugely
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the huge
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effort that the
student
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students
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do regarding
to
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apply
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their numerical exam
is possibly bring
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is possibly brought
is possibly bringing
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their mind
used to be
Verb problem
up
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with
this
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kind of test model.
Eventhough
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Even though
the
Correct article usage
a
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higher score can be achieved yet
some
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apply
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times
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sometimes
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, they
still
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are still
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confident to try more to get the grade they are pursuing
for
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apply
show examples
. For some
children
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children,
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this
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become
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becomes
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more interesting,
since
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of
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their devotion to the
challeging
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challenge
. In
another
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another word
other words
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words
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, their brain automatically
think
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thinks
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and
lead
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leads
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them to keep high motivated and higher power.
On the other hand
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, for some
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students
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student
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student,
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this
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will not help enough because they have
distinc
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distinct
way
to think
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of thinking
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. Like
the one
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those
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who
passioned
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are passioned
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in
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about
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art or sport, pushing them to embrace math
title
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titles
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will only make them
into
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apply
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devastated if after
have tried
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trying
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very hard, they still
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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reach the aimed mark. In conclusion,
while
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the motivating
words
Use synonyms
to ask the
millenials
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millennials
to try hard enough in order to achieve everything they want, it is
obviously
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obvious
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to
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for
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adult to keep an eye
into
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on
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their children's
attitude
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attitudes
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and tendencious.
Otherwise
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,
this
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advice could be a
deteroriate
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deteriorate
influence
to
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on
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the young person. It has to bear in mind that each person has their own
threshold-effort
Correct your spelling
threshold effort
show examples
.
Submitted by arehnkiyaz on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical progression of ideas. Ensure connections between sentences and paragraphs are clearer, using cohesive devices like linking words.
task achievement
Focus on developing each main point with more detailed examples and explanations. This will provide depth to the discussion.
language
Work on reducing grammar and vocabulary errors to improve the overall clarity of your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and a conclusion that summarize the main points effectively.
task achievement
The topic is generally addressed, with an attempt to explore both advantages and disadvantages.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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