Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged, others believe that children who are taught to Co-operate rather than compete become more useful atults. Discuss both the views and give opinion.
Nowadays, the
competitions
Fix the agreement mistake
competition
on
the rise because of money. Some people believe Add a missing verb
is on
include
me, that more time needs to be allocated to the unity of Wrong verb form
including
group
and Add an article
the group
make
Verb problem
apply
collabrations
together to achieve a good sense of Correct your spelling
collaboration
eduction
, Correct your spelling
education
while
some argue about it.
Linking Words
To begin
, time and money Linking Words
investing
Wrong verb form
are invested
to
Change preposition
in
the
competitions now Correct article usage
apply
for instance
, at present private colleges prepare their Linking Words
students
to compete with other candidates Use synonyms
instead
, school societies must learn general knowledge about lessons not for just sake of medals, it would be beneficial if we could keep Linking Words
this
between balance.
Linking Words
Secondly
, parents and teachers Linking Words
forcing
Wrong verb form
force
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
to use Correct your spelling
children
Correct your spelling
their
thier
knowledge against
other Correct your spelling
their
students
Use synonyms
for example
, in Linking Words
the
Uzbekistan's private tutors there will be a Correct article usage
apply
lot
competition Add the preposition
lot of
also
with there a great reward albeit, tutors Linking Words
needs
to teach pupils and Change the verb form
need
students
academic education which is Use synonyms
need it
for Wrong verb form
needed
thier
future dream jobs or university. Correct your spelling
their
However
, Linking Words
students
get motivation to study Use synonyms
for
compete with Change preposition
to
other person
. It would be great if the government Change the wording
another person
other people
apply
Wrong verb form
applied
limition
between Correct your spelling
limitation
eduction
and tournament.
Correct your spelling
education
To sum up
, I do not think that events Linking Words
needs
to stop but, it needs to be term. There are events out here just Change the verb form
need
organize
for money, the government needs to take control of that. If all attention Wrong verb form
organised
given
to Add the auxiliary verb
is given
achieve
good Change the verb form
achieving
sertifacte
and Correct your spelling
certificate
for
good grades the world Change preposition
apply
innovation
Change preposition
of innovation
drive
crazy.Fix the agreement mistake
drives
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task achievement
Try to provide more examples and clarification in your support of both views. It will help make your arguments clearer and more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point or idea. This will improve the flow and clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and try to introduce new ideas in the conclusion. Summarize key points without repetition to add strength to your argument.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument, which provides a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your essay effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.