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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

According to those in the travel business, the nature of the average ‘holiday’ is changing. Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far-away place, people now want excitement on their holidays and are keen to participate in unusual and challenging activities. Do you agree or disagree?

#travel #business #nature #‘holiday’ #place #people #excitement #holidays #activities
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In recent years, there has been a noticeable shift in the preferences of holidaymakers, with many seeking more adventurous and exhilarating experiences rather than traditional relaxing breaks in
far-away
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faraway
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 destinations.
While
 some argue that
this
 change reflects evolving consumer desires, others contend that it represents a broader societal shift towards valuing unique and challenging
activities
.
This
 essay will explore both perspectives before presenting a reasoned conclusion. On one hand, proponents of the notion that people now prefer excitement on their holidays argue that modern lifestyles have become increasingly fast-paced and demanding, leading
individuals
 to seek escapism and adrenaline-fueled experiences during their leisure time.
This
 trend is evident in the rise of adventure tourism, where
travelers
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travellers
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 actively seek out opportunities to engage in physically challenging
activities
such
 as hiking, rock climbing, and extreme sports.
Furthermore
, advancements in technology and transportation have made previously inaccessible destinations more attainable, allowing
individuals
 to explore remote and exotic locations in search of new thrills and adventures.
Conversely
, some may argue that the desire for excitement on holidays is not necessarily a new phenomenon but rather a reflection of human nature's innate curiosity and thirst for exploration. Throughout history,
individuals
 have embarked on journeys of discovery and adventure, whether it be explorers charting uncharted territories or pilgrims seeking spiritual enlightenment. In today's context, the proliferation of social media and online platforms has amplified the desire for unique and Instagram-worthy experiences, driving
individuals
 to seek out unconventional and off-the-beaten-path
activities
 to share with their social networks. In conclusion,
while
 there is merit to the argument that the nature of the average holiday is changing towards more exciting and challenging
activities
, it is essential to recognize that individual preferences vary greatly.
While
 some may indeed prefer adrenaline-fueled adventures, others may still seek relaxation and
tranquility
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tranquillity
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 in far-away destinations. Ultimately, the evolution of holiday preferences reflects the diverse needs and desires of
travelers
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travellers
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 in an increasingly interconnected and dynamic world.
Submitted by yanjinru0827 on

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task achievement
Ensure that all main points are sufficiently elaborated upon. While your ideas are clear and comprehensive, a bit more depth in each point can strengthen the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs. While your essay is generally well-organized, seamless transitions can further improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents the perspectives that will be discussed. This helps set the stage for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and provides a balanced view. It encapsulates the main arguments well.
task achievement
Your response is comprehensive and addresses the question directly. The arguments provided are relevant and fit well within the context of the topic.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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