IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The two graphs provide information about average spending with
Japanese
Use synonyms
 and Malaysian
families
Use synonyms
 in a specific period (2010) in five various categories: Housing- Transport-
Food
Use synonyms
- Health care- and Other
goods
Use synonyms
 and
services
Use synonyms
. The average spending in Japan
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 illustrated in the first
chart
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the average spending in Malaysia
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 illustrated in the
second
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of expenses
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 relatively variable in 2010 with both
Japanese
Use synonyms
 and Malaysian
families
Use synonyms
. Turning to the first
chart
Use synonyms
, we can observe that most of the expenses by
Japanese
Use synonyms
families
Use synonyms
 are on Other
goods
Use synonyms
 and
services
Use synonyms
 about (29%) of the
proportion
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
Food
Use synonyms
 is in
second
Use synonyms
 place with just almost a quarter of the
proportion
Use synonyms
 (24%).
According to
Linking Words
 the data, Other
goods
Use synonyms
 and
services
Use synonyms
,
Food
Use synonyms
 and Housing are the most spending sectors among
Japanese
Use synonyms
families
Use synonyms
 with nearly three-quarters (74%).
In contrast
Linking Words
, the situation is significantly disparate. By taking a closer look at the
second
Use synonyms
chart
Use synonyms
, we can observe that Housing is in first place at just above two-thirds of the
proportion
Use synonyms
 (34%).
However
Linking Words
,
Food
Use synonyms
 is in
second
Use synonyms
 place at (23%) of the
proportion
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 Housing,
Food
Use synonyms
 and Other
goods
Use synonyms
 and
services
Use synonyms
 are the most spending sectors among Malaysian
families
Use synonyms
 with (87%) of the
proportion
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by dream2cuwed on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words japanese, families, goods, services, chart, second, proportion, food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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