Some people think that criminal behavior has genetic causes. others believe that it is circumstances that lead people to commit a crime. Give your opinion.

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There is no
doute
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doubt
about the fact that the number of
crime
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crimes
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and the intensity of crime getting worse and worse
day-by-day
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day by day
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. Some people have
a
Change the article
an
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opinion that genetic makeup has been
cause
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the cause
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behind criminal behaviour
while
Linking Words
others think that
situation
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situations
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around people make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
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do criminal
activites
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activities
. In my belief, the events that are happening around them drag them into criminal ideology. On the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humans were not born with
a criminal traits
Correct the article-noun agreement
criminal traits
a criminal trait
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but they
got
Verb problem
were
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influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
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by their
Submitted by asifrathod553 on

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task achievement
Ensure to provide a more complete response by addressing both perspectives in detail. Currently, the essay is leaning heavily on one side without discussing the other viewpoint.
task achievement
Use more specific examples or evidence to support your claims. For instance, you could mention specific circumstances that might lead someone to crime.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your essay with clear paragraphs and use cohesive devices to improve the logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
Provide a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and reaffirms your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Develop your body paragraphs more fully; discuss genetic influence and circumstances separately for clarity.
task achievement
The introduction presents a clear stance on the topic, which is a good starting point for your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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