Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a belief that school aims to make children become ethical residents and labourers

while

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others assert that youngsters should be benefited as individuals. Personally,

this

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writer totally disagrees with

this

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statement and will explain it in the following sections. It must be understood that it is the behavior, not performance that plays a vital role in social development. In fact, a good employee consists of generosity, responsibility, dedication

as well as

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other moral aspects. Practically, having a well-behaved character encourages workers to alleviate conflicts in the workplace and promotes a sense of solidarity.

Consequently

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, enterprises that own good citizens in their workforce should witness an increase in profit

along with

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employees’ productivity. In the long term,

this

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strategy plays a crucial role in maintaining social sustainability

as well as

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economic growth. Another factor which contributes to

this

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writer’s disagreement is the former aim of schools to aid students to achieve kindness and dedication. To explain, if educators benefit children as individuals, there is no doubt that they will not focus on developing national well-being owing to their demand in personal appetites.

According to

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this

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trend, obviously, these labourers will choose to work for themselves rather than communities.

As a result

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, workplaces which contain

this

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kind of workers often experience a lack of unity and coordination. Take Vietnam as an example, where roughly 70% of international school pupils who undergo a wide range of great education usually struggle with inconvenience regarding teamwork tasks in later careers

due to

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various conflicts that they trigger.

To conclude

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, transforming a child into a kind citizen must be

contemplated

Verb problem

considered

show examples

the utmost priority of education.

Hence

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this

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essay has outlined the reasons for

this

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disapproval.

Tue Jun 04 2024

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear opinion, but make sure that the reasoning and arguments are fully developed and clear. Some ideas could be expanded further for better clarity and depth.

coherence cohesion

While there is a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, the logical flow between points and paragraphs could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph has a central idea and that these ideas are connected logically.

task achievement

Use relevant examples that are directly related to the main points you are making. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a clear stance on the topic, which is great for coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

The essay includes some relevant examples to support the points made, which enhances the task achievement.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial
shaping
developing
unique talents
potential
well-rounded
academic
social
emotional development
personal growth
contribute positively
self-expression
creativity
individuality
happier and more fulfilled
strike a balance
preparing students for the workforce
nurturing
individual needs
pursue passions and interests
thrive
future professionals
community institutions
shape community values
foster civic engagement

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Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Should families or the government be responsible for caring for the elderly? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Modern technology is being used more and more in different aspects of our live, such as education. Do the advantages of using technology as an educational tool outweigh its disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

A friend has agreed to look after your house and pet while you are on holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter: give contact details for when you are away, give instructions about how to care for your pet describe other household duties.