In some countries increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food.government should improse high tax rate do you agree or disagree?
Goverment
role has a pivotal role in population welfare, Correct your spelling
Government
for instance
, Linking Words
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
to
Change preposition
with
increasing
of fast Correct article usage
the increasing
food
consumers that Use synonyms
leads
Change the verb form
lead
Change preposition
to society
society
health Change noun form
society's
problem
. In several countries, it is Fix the agreement mistake
problems
possesed
that Correct your spelling
possible
hiked
tax rate could Correct article usage
the hiked
be bringing
Wrong verb form
bring
the
lower consumption of Correct article usage
a
this
kind of Linking Words
food
, thereby the lower of health Use synonyms
issue
. In my opinion, I agree that applying the higher rate will able to reduce Fix the agreement mistake
issues
numbers
of Fix the agreement mistake
number
the
Correct article usage
apply
unhealty
consuming Correct your spelling
unhealthy
behaviour
in several ways. Fix the agreement mistake
behaviours
This
essay will elaborate Linking Words
to
what detailed view I do agree.
Change preposition
on
To begin
with, Linking Words
for
some communities, will think twice Change preposition
apply
to spend
their money on unhealthy Change preposition
about spending
food
Use synonyms
due to
its high cost. Linking Words
For example
, the students who want Linking Words
buy
Fix the infinitive
to buy
food
for their lunch will change their Use synonyms
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
when
is
served a pricey burger. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Accordingly
, they will try to find another Linking Words
food
, like Use synonyms
bring
some home-cooked cuisine. Wrong verb form
bringing
Besides
, letting them Linking Words
for
cost-saving, it Change preposition
apply
also
provides a healthier consumption behaviour.
Linking Words
Additionally
, Linking Words
if
the council enforce the economic law against Correct word choice
apply
to
the increment of Change preposition
apply
the
fast Correct article usage
apply
food
by issuing some strict Use synonyms
policy
to be abided Fix the agreement mistake
policies
both
Change preposition
by both
of
the producers and consumers Change preposition
apply
holisticly
. Correct your spelling
holistically
For instance
, the directorate of beverage Linking Words
release
the regulation that each quick-served Change the verb form
releases
food
must declare a terrible message Use synonyms
in
each Change preposition
on
their
counter Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
as "more fast Linking Words
food
, more unhealthy life.". Use synonyms
Linking Words
This
direct words will help society to avoid the unhealthy Correct determiner usage
These
one
.
Correct pronoun usage
ones
However
, for some particular persons, the two Linking Words
reason
above still can shake their preference Change to a plural noun
reasons
into
Change preposition
for
the
fresh meals. If the price and or the statement Correct article usage
apply
does
not work Correct subject-verb agreement
do
on
Change preposition
apply
it
, the coincidence individually should Correct pronoun usage
apply
take
into account. Sometimes, people must directly engage on Wrong verb form
be taken
the
certain issue to let them Correct article usage
a
knowing
the risk and pain of it. Change the form of the verb
know
Thus
, their knowledge or Linking Words
exprerience
Correct your spelling
experience
on
sickness Change preposition
of
due to
meals will make them open their eyes to change it.
In conclusion, Linking Words
eventhough
, the authority's discretion is axiomatic to reduce the growth of unhealthy meals, the community's awareness has become Correct your spelling
even though
indisputable
proportion Correct article usage
an indisputable
on
it. Eventually, the synergy between parliament and Change preposition
of
individual
will allow a far bigger influence to achieve Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
the
social Correct article usage
apply
healthy
.Replace the word
health
Submitted by arehnkiyaz on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Enhance your sentence structure and grammar to elevate the clarity of ideas presented.
vocabulary
Use more varied vocabulary to better express your arguments and improve engagement.
support
Ensure to provide more comprehensive support for each reason to strengthen your argument.
style
Try to maintain a consistent tone and avoid shifting styles throughout the essay.
structure
You've effectively presented both governmental roles and individual responsibilities.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example