IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The data regarding the proportion of population owning cars in a European country over the 3 decades (from 1971 to 2001) is being compared in the given bar chart.

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Overall
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, it can be easily seen that people tended more to own cars as time went by,
while
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 the most part of citizens owned only one car during the researched period. The figure for people who owned no cars witnessed a significant downward trend of a fifth until the year 2001, standing at about 47% of
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 in 1971. The pattern for families which had a car was 35% of
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 in 1971,
whereas
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 it had reached the highest in 1991 with more than 45% before decreasing by a twentieth in the final year of research. The figure for households with 2 or more cars was responsible for the least part of
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 in 1971, standing at 15%.
However
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, it reached over a quarter in 2001 after registering fluctuating between 15% and 30%.

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed explanations or specific examples for the trends described, such as specific years or figures when comparing changes in car ownership.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by specifying how each factor contributed to the rising number of car owners over the decades in a more comprehensive manner.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay is cohesive, utilizing more varied cohesive devices could further improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Adding a brief conclusion summarizing the overall trend or any notable pattern observed could strengthen the coherence of your response.
task achievement
The overall trend of increasing car ownership over time is effectively identified and explained.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, allowing readers to follow the progression of the data easily.
task achievement
You have successfully identified the significant trends and changes in car ownership across different time periods.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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