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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows expenditures of four car companies on advertising in the UK in 2002.

The table below shows expenditures of four car companies on advertising in the UK in 2002.
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The
table
Use synonyms
 illustrates
costs
Correct article usage
the costs
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 of four different car companies ( Renault,
Rover
Use synonyms
, Vauxhall and
Cetirizine
Use synonyms
) on five different commercializing in the UK in 2002. As a general overview, it
is
Verb problem
can
show examples
 clearly be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 TV advertising was predominant among other ones.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, cinema advertising was significantly least on the
table
Use synonyms
. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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presented in the
table
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, Radio PR was surprisingly equal in all types of car brands which was 15
million
Use synonyms
 dollars. In terms of Press, Renault was the most preferable (45
million
Use synonyms
 dollars),
Use synonyms
Rover
Correct word choice
and Rover
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 was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
slight
Change the word
slightly
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more
Change the word
apply
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less than
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
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 one placed
38
Change preposition
at 38
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million
Use synonyms
 grains. Vauxhall and
Cetirizine
Use synonyms
weren't
Verb problem
didn't
show examples
accounted
Wrong verb form
account
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much
Change preposition
for much
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 in
this
Linking Words
 type of
advertizing
Correct your spelling
advertising
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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was 8 and 12
million
Use synonyms
 dollars respectively.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Cinema and Outdoor were minor on
Use synonyms
table
Add an article
the table
show examples
 for all brands.
Cetirizine
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 and
Rover
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 haven't been used in Cinema and
also
Linking Words
 almost in Outdoor.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Renault and Vauxhall
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
showed
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 costs in Outdoor commercials.
Lastly
Linking Words
, moving on to the TV, it was the highest type in terms of car brands compared in
Use synonyms
table
Correct article usage
the table
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besides
Linking Words
,
Cetirizine
Use synonyms
 had significantly better which was 70.
Rover
Use synonyms
 was 45 and the least both in TV and Outdoor.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words table, rover, cetirizine, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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