IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A rise in the standard of living in a country often only seems to benefit cities rather than rural areas. What problems can this cause? How might these problems be reduced?

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Despite knowing the importance of rural areas, countries continue to develop the cities causing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
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 within the nation. In my opinion, there are many contributing factors to
this
Linking Words
 issue and can be countered if various steps are improvised. The two main reasons for the growth of
urbans
Correct your spelling
urban
 are urbanization and
government
Use synonyms
 administration feasibility. When people
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
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 to earn money or to educate themselves higher, they move from rural to urban. To build, Availability of
high standard
Add a hyphen
high-standard
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educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
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 and
fortune
Capitalize word
Fortune
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 companies are the main reasons for relocation.
Besides
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
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 plans the
development
Use synonyms
according
Add the preposition
according to
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 the city’s
infrastructure
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Tamil
Correct article usage
the Tamil
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 Nadu
government
Use synonyms
 focus the
development
Use synonyms
 only towards Chennai (
Capital
Correct article usage
the Capital
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 City), Since it
a
Add a missing verb
is a
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metropolitan area, which accessible
through
Change preposition
by
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 all ways of transport for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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economical
Replace the word
economic
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development
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 drives the
development
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 of an area depending on the
infrastructure
Use synonyms
. The solutions for the problems detailed above relate to protecting overpopulation
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 cities and
depletion
Correct article usage
the depletion
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 of rural areas.
By increasing
Change preposition
Increasing
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 the education standards, attracting Multinational companies into villages and providing support for
small scale
Add a hyphen
small-scale
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 industries in small towns will cover the mentality of human to stay in their own locality.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 must improve the
infrastructure
Use synonyms
nation-wide
Correct your spelling
nationwide
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 can well be illustrated with an example of
Country
Correct article usage
a Country
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 like Japan always
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
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 support and
develop
Verb problem
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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infrastructure
Use synonyms
 equally, which helps their country to avoid urbanization. In conclusion, there are many causes associated with rural loss,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 the two most conspicuous causes
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
movement
Add an article
the movement
a movement
show examples
 of people to cities and
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 imbalance. Here the best solution is to prepare a proper infrastructural planned
development
Use synonyms
 and
avoiding
Wrong verb form
avoid
show examples
 urbanization to be free from
such
Linking Words
 challenges.

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task achievement
Your response is relevant, but make sure each paragraph clearly supports your central argument. Expand on points to deliver a complete response.
task achievement
Your ideas are mostly clear, but ensure each paragraph expands on one specific idea; avoid jumping between topics.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your points, rather than generically stating facts.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth flow of ideas. Linking phrases between paragraphs and within sections can help create a more cohesive structure.
coherence cohesion
Organize your introduction to clearly state the main points you will discuss; the conclusion should summarize these effectively.
coherence cohesion
Develop and support your main ideas with additional details or examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You have successfully identified key problems caused by uneven development between cities and rural areas.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a decent logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Good attempt to suggest solutions such as improving education standards and government support for small industries.
task achievement
You included a country example, which strengthens the practical application of your solutions.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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