IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an argument
whether
Change preposition
about whether
show examples
 the
major amount
Replace the word
majority
show examples
 of public healthcare
foundation
Fix the agreement mistake
foundations
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 should be dedicated
in
Change the preposition
to
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 taking precautions or treatments.
However
Linking Words
, I acknowledge that
prevention
Use synonyms
 is fine
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some reasons, but I believe
the
Correct article usage
an
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equally
Change the adverb
equal
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 proportion should be allocated
in
Change preposition
to
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 treatments; thereby the balanced approach will evolve the healthcare system. On the one hand, allocation the
public
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of public
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 funds
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
prevention
Correct article usage
the prevention
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 of disease should
be increase
Change the verb form
be increased
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 as equally as
Use synonyms
treatment
Add an article
a treatment
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 for several reasons.
Firstly
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, in many
Change to a plural noun
cases
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case
Add a comma
case,
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 the cost of
precaution’s
Change noun form
precaution
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 measures is very low and affordable rather
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
treatment
Use synonyms
. With
Fix the agreement mistake
prevention
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preventions
Add a comma
preventions,
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 both citizens and government utilize its benefits.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Correct article usage
the Covid
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Covid
Correct your spelling
COVID
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 epidemic, countries which took fast measures and pre-actions, including public awareness to use
mask
Fix the agreement mistake
masks
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 and vaccination, were successful in
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
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 the disease.
Such
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 countries lost minimum
individuals
Correct quantifier usage
number of individuals
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 in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
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 to countries which only relied on treating
this
Linking Words
 new infection.
Secondly
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, some
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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 may not
treat
Wrong verb form
be treated
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 currently,
while
Linking Words
preventions
Fix the agreement mistake
prevention
show examples
 can eliminate them completely.
For instance
Linking Words
, childhood vaccination of children deters from some harmful disorders.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in my point of view, spending
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 public budget on
treatment
Use synonyms
 is essential. Some
pre measure
Correct your spelling
pre-measures
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 or education about health do not work properly, as the stem of that problem has not been discovered yet.
For example
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 MS or some types of cancer have not been demonstrated precisely, so spending too much money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
prevention
Use synonyms
 is not a sufficient action. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
prevention
Use synonyms
 can offer very economical
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 toward the cures,
while
Linking Words
deter from
Wrong verb form
deterring
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 many deathful disorders, the
treatment
Use synonyms
 should be taken
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 same budget, as some diseases happen even by precautions.

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task achievement
Consider clarifying your main argument in a more explicit manner.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas between paragraphs and within each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your position.
task achievement
The essay recognizes both prevention and treatment, offering a balanced approach to public healthcare funding.
task achievement
The use of relevant examples, such as COVID-19 measures and childhood vaccinations, effectively supports the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
What to do next:
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