IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some teachers tend to reward students who achieve high academic results, others, however, support and reward students that show the most improvement. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
I believe that every teacher in the world
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 unique way
to support
Change preposition
of supporting
show examples
 their students. Personally, I am
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 person who believes in
process
Add an article
a process
the process
show examples
, just not the outcome and I think,
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 nowadays must believe
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their student improvement, not just believe
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 high academic results. Because, there are a
lot
Add the preposition
lot of
show examples
 ways to achieve
a high academic results
Correct the article-noun agreement
high academic results
a high academic result
show examples
, example we can achieve
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
high academic results by cheating
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 others.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure, including an introduction and conclusion that clearly outlines and summarizes the main points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.
coherence cohesion
Avoid using colloquial expressions like "believe in process, just not the outcome" and aim for more formal academic language.
task achievement
Expand on both views (rewarding high achievers vs. rewarding improvement) to provide a balanced discussion before presenting your opinion.
task achievement
The essay reflects a personal stance which is important for a well-rounded discussion.
task achievement
Attempts to address the topic and task by bringing in the idea of cheating to achieve high results.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Incentivize
  • Academic success
  • High achievers
  • Excellence
  • Competition
  • Strive
  • Recognition
  • Encouragement
  • Inclusive
  • Educational environment
  • Personal growth
  • Middle ground
  • Efforts
  • Neglect
  • Lower the bar
What to do next:
Look at other essays: