Many people believe that social networking sites (such as facebook)have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society?To what extent do you agree? In the current world, The usage of technology is constantly on the rise.

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society #world #usage #technology #rise

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It is often argued by some that numerous

individuals

Use synonyms

believe that social sites have a huge negative effect on both humans and society.

In contrast

Linking Words

, The usage of technology is constantly rising.

Although

Linking Words

some might disagree with the notion;

however

Linking Words

, I completely agree. Not only because of the

vurgular

Correct your spelling

regular

burglar

contents

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

because of unusual relationships.

This

Linking Words

essay will enunciate how these factors justify my opinion.

Firstly

Linking Words

vurgular

Correct your spelling

regular

burglar

contents

Use synonyms

had a bad influence on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individuals

Use synonyms

and society. Numerous social

apps

Use synonyms

containing

Wrong verb form

contain

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pornography from which

individuals

Use synonyms

investing

Wrong verb form

invest

show examples

time

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

social spheres and

becomes

Correct subject-verb agreement

become

show examples

addictive

Replace the word

addicted

show examples

to it.

Besides

Linking Words

, have

a bad habits

Correct the article-noun agreement

bad habits

a bad habit

show examples

such

Linking Words

mastrubation

Correct your spelling

masturbation

For example

Linking Words

Goggle

Correct your spelling

Google

show examples

discovered that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research about

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

porn

Use synonyms

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the top globally.

Thus

Linking Words

, these categories of

contents

Use synonyms

have

Change the article

show examples

adverse effect on the

individuals

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

on society.

Secondly

Linking Words

, apart from the

vurgular

Correct your spelling

regular

data,unserious relations are another drawback of

a social

Correct the article-noun agreement

social apps

a social app

show examples

apps

Use synonyms

. Numerous people are cheating on their partners with the help of these

apps

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For instance

Linking Words

, people have

a extra affairs

Correct the article-noun agreement

an extra affair

extra affairs

show examples

on these

apps

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

easily

Change the word

easy

show examples

conversation

Fix the agreement mistake

conversations

show examples

with each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

and passing their

time

Use synonyms

without any real interaction.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, they are destroying their lives

as well as

Linking Words

others.

Hence

Linking Words

availability

Correct article usage

the availability

show examples

of communication at every

sites

Change to a singular noun

site

show examples

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a negative effect on relationships. In conclusion, the above evidence made it clear that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

porn data and

time

Use synonyms

pass

Correct your spelling

past

show examples

relationships have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

detrimental impacts on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

communities and societies throughout the social world.In

foreseeable

Correct article usage

the foreseeable

show examples

future, there might be more drawbacks because new generations are spending

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

a lot of

time

Use synonyms

on social media.

Submitted by nidarif855 on Sat Jan 11 2025

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coherence cohesion

Ensure more logical flow: The essay could be improved by organizing the ideas more logically and ensuring a smoother transition between ideas and paragraphs.

task achievement

Develop examples fully: The essay mentions examples, such as the prevalence of pornographic content, but could benefit from more precise or varied examples to support the points more effectively.

task achievement

Clarify ideas: Enhance clarity by refining complex sentences. This helps in ensuring that the reader understands each point completely without confusion.

coherence cohesion

Clear Introduction and Conclusion: The essay has a clear introduction that states the writer’s position and a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.

task achievement

Relevant points addressed: The essay addresses the question with relevant arguments about the negative impacts of social networking sites.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

261 words

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