Many people believe that social networking sites (such as facebook)have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society?To what extent do you agree? In the current world, The usage of technology is constantly on the rise.

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It is often argued by some that numerous
individuals
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believe that social sites have a huge negative effect on both humans and society.
In contrast
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, The usage of technology is constantly rising.
Although
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some might disagree with the notion;
however
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, I completely agree. Not only because of the
vurgular
Correct your spelling
regular
burglar
contents
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
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because of unusual relationships.
This
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essay will enunciate how these factors justify my opinion.
Firstly
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,
vurgular
Correct your spelling
regular
burglar
contents
Use synonyms
had a bad influence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals
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and society. Numerous social
apps
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containing
Wrong verb form
contain
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
pornography from which
individuals
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investing
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invest
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more
time
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
social spheres and
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
addictive
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addicted
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to it.
Besides
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, have
a bad habits
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bad habits
a bad habit
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such
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as
mastrubation
Correct your spelling
masturbation
.
For example
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,
Goggle
Correct your spelling
Google
show examples
discovered that
the
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apply
show examples
research about
a
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apply
show examples
porn
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contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
are
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is
show examples
on
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at
show examples
the top globally.
Thus
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, these categories of
contents
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have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
adverse effect on the
individuals
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as well as
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on society.
Secondly
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, apart from the
vurgular
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regular
data,unserious relations are another drawback of
a social
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social apps
a social app
show examples
apps
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. Numerous people are cheating on their partners with the help of these
apps
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.
For instance
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, people have
a extra affairs
Correct the article-noun agreement
an extra affair
extra affairs
show examples
on these
apps
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due to
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easily
Change the word
easy
show examples
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
and passing their
time
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without any real interaction.
As a consequence
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, they are destroying their lives
as well as
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others.
Hence
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,
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
of communication at every
sites
Change to a singular noun
site
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a negative effect on relationships. In conclusion, the above evidence made it clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
porn data and
time
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pass
Correct your spelling
past
show examples
relationships have
a
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apply
show examples
detrimental impacts on
the
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apply
show examples
communities and societies throughout the social world.In
foreseeable
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the foreseeable
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future, there might be more drawbacks because new generations are spending
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a lot of
time
Use synonyms
on social media.
Submitted by nidarif855 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure more logical flow: The essay could be improved by organizing the ideas more logically and ensuring a smoother transition between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Develop examples fully: The essay mentions examples, such as the prevalence of pornographic content, but could benefit from more precise or varied examples to support the points more effectively.
task achievement
Clarify ideas: Enhance clarity by refining complex sentences. This helps in ensuring that the reader understands each point completely without confusion.
coherence cohesion
Clear Introduction and Conclusion: The essay has a clear introduction that states the writer’s position and a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
Relevant points addressed: The essay addresses the question with relevant arguments about the negative impacts of social networking sites.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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