Parents should spend their time with their children helping them with their homework. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is
a
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apply
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paramount for
parents
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to dedicate a lot of their time
in
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to
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assisting their children as they do their homework.
This
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essay will illustrate that I am in total agreement with
this
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statement because
this
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will motivate children to put more effort
in
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into
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what they do as they see their
parents
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putting interest in their studies and it will bring
parents
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and their kids closer.
Firstly
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, youngsters are greatly encouraged to pursue their studies with passion if they have their mother and father supporting them
especially
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, especially
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with their
school-work
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schoolwork
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.
This
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will greatly encourage them to excel in their studies as many little ones always want to please their mum and dad.
For example
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, a
child
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who is assisted by their mother or father in most cases, tends to have higher grades as compared to one who does their educational work alone. The one who is assisted will always want to make their mum and dad happy.
Secondly
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, there is
creation
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the creation
a creation
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of a great bond that cannot be broken for students who do their learning tasks with the assistance of their mummy and daddy. There is an element of them coming closer and closer together. When the
child
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forgets about something, they will remember their mother’s voice or joke and that will motivate them and
also
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put a smile on their face.
This
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also
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helps the
parents
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notice if a
child
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has any problems. Nowadays, there is bullying in schools, so if a
child
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encounters
such
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things, when the mother or father is close to them, they will notice that something is wrong with their
child
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and will quickly ask her and deal with the problem. In conclusion, it is necessary for
parents
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to spend their time assisting their children with their school things as it will benefit both the
child
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and the
parents
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and their bond will not be easily destroyed.
Submitted by pncubeterera on

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well, but you can improve it by making the thesis statement more precise. For instance, rather than saying 'This essay will illustrate that I am in total agreement with this statement,' you could say 'I agree because this will motivate children to put more effort into their studies and will strengthen the parent-child bond.'
task achievement
While your supporting points are strong, there is a slight repetitiveness in the arguments. Try to introduce a third distinct reason or provide more depth to the existing ones to make your essay more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured, but ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance coherence. For example, using linking phrases like 'Moreover,' or 'In addition,' can help to make the ideas flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion is quite effective in summarizing the main points, but you could make it more impactful by reiterating the key reasons that parents should help with homework, rather than just stating it generally.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear beginning, middle, and end. The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You have clearly expressed your ideas and supported them with relevant examples. The connection between parental involvement and the child's motivation and academic performance is well made.
task achievement
The points about the enhanced bond between parents and children and the ability of parents to notice issues like bullying show a deep understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • parental involvement
  • academic development
  • parent-child relationship
  • supported and encouraged
  • confidence and independence
  • educational strategies
  • autonomous learning
  • foster a love for learning
  • tailored interventions
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