Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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In
modren
Correct your spelling
modern
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
,the issue of teenagers has become an essential part of our societies.It is believed that unpaid community works
doing
Wrong verb form
done
show examples
by adolescents in
leisure
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their leisure
show examples
time have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good merits for both
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
and young
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
statement and I will support it with evidence in my writing . First and foremost ,
enging
Correct your spelling
engaging
in society works provides a variety of advantages for teenagers.
Fristly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, it can help ensure a strong sense of personality and empathy.
secondly
Linking Words
, juveniles are more working in
eara
Correct your spelling
area
will
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
plenty of responsibility and get more confident,To illustrate
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
,when I was in my school,
oyr
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our
or
best teacher
tell
Wrong verb form
told
show examples
us to clean the garden of my school together and plant some
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bit
Fix the agreement mistake
bits
show examples
of
flowers
Change to a singular noun
flower
show examples
,
This
Linking Words
is gain or develop
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
valuable life
skills
Change the noun form
skill
show examples
likes,
teamework
Correct your spelling
teamwork
team-work
, leadership and problem -solving .So
workes
Correct your spelling
workers
show examples
in society provide teenagers
Add the preposition
with
show examples
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
pportuntiy
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to them and connect to understand their social problems.
Hawever
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However
, it can be
cleary
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clearly
show examples
seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working in
nation
Correct article usage
a nation
show examples
evolute
teenager’s
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers’
show examples
mental health and
well-bing
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well-being
show examples
.Many
of
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apply
show examples
adolenscents confict
Correct your spelling
adolescents conflict
some
Change preposition
with some
show examples
life challenges
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
example,
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
trees
isolation and
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
free time
wihout
Correct your spelling
without
doing anything.To more explain,In my town ,some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
volunteers
Add an article
the volunteers
show examples
are doing
scoiesy
Correct your spelling
society
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
with not unpaid.They have a good physical body and mental.
Therefore
Linking Words
,It depends
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the cooperation of
Correct article usage
the member’s
show examples
member’s
Change preposition
member of
show examples
society. In conclusion,from an
overall
Linking Words
perspective , it is evident that
juvelines
Correct your spelling
guidelines
juveniles
and societies have more
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
show examples
when they cooperate and work together in
freetime
Correct your spelling
free time
. If the community
dont
Verb problem
does not
show examples
exchange their ideas and
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
,they will not develop a new interest in their lives .
Submitted by lailakhalil3 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay by organizing your points clearly and ensuring that each idea flows smoothly to the next. Consider using transition words and phrases to aid coherence.
task achievement
Develop and support your main points more thoroughly. Use relevant examples or reasons to strengthen your arguments, and be sure they directly relate to the question.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas and ensure they are comprehensively expressed. Avoid vague language and expand on each point to give it more depth.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear starting and ending point for your essay.
task achievement
You have provided specific personal examples from your experience, which can help in illustrating your points.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
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