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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph below shows the consumption of 4 kinds of meat in a European country from 1979 to 2004.

The line graph below shows the consumption of 4 kinds of meat in a European country from 1979 to 2004.
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The line graph illustrates the
fish
Use synonyms
 and
meat
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consumption
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 of 4 categories of
meat
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 (
chicken
Use synonyms
,
beef
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,
lamb
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 and
fish
Use synonyms
) between 1979 and 2004 in a European country. Units are measured by
grams
Use synonyms
 per person per week.
Overall
Linking Words
, at the beginning of the period,
beef
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 was the most popular
meat
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, but by the end of the period,
chicken
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 had become the most consumed
meat
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. Over the years
chicken
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consumption
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 has increased,
while
Linking Words
lamb
Use synonyms
 and
beef
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 have decreased. At the same time,
fish
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 intake was approximately similar all
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the beginning, in 1979
chicken
Use synonyms
 and
lamb
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 were at the same level of
consumption
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 around 150
grams
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.
Then
Linking Words
lamb
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 eating started dramatically falling and in the middle of the period in 1989, it already reached 100
grams
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, in the end, it fell to about 60
grams
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,
while
Linking Words
chicken
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 intake rose to 250
grams
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 in 2004.
Beef
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consumption
Use synonyms
 was most popular from 1979 to 1989 above 170-240
grams
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,
then
Linking Words
beef
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consumption
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 started to decrease rapidly and in 1989 it was at the same level
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
chicken
Use synonyms
 around 200
grams
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, after that, it dropped to a low 100
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2004.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
fish
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 was all years at the same level above 50
grams
Use synonyms
 per person per week.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, meat, consumption, chicken, beef, lamb, grams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • meat
  • increase
  • decrease
  • popularity
  • steady
  • stable
  • significant
  • period
  • type
  • contrast
  • decline
  • greatest
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