Some people prefer to buy high-tech electronic devices like cell phones and computers instant when they are introduced for the first time, while others believe it is better to buy these products after a while when they are in the stores. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is said that several
people
Use synonyms
choose to purchase modern technological gadgets
such
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as cell phones and computers immediately when they are released for the first
time
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in the world,
whereas
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other
people
Use synonyms
have
this
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opine that it is better to buy these kinds of
products
Use synonyms
after a
while
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when they are available in stores. I will discuss both
opinion
Change to a plural noun
opinions
show examples
and give my own. On the one hand, the advocates of buying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high-tech electronic
products
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as soon as they are released on the market may
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
curiousity
Correct your spelling
curiosity
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
this
Linking Words
action. These
people
Use synonyms
perhaps are the kinds of
people
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who enjoy solving problems. By
this
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act, they test new high-tech
divices
Correct your spelling
devices
and fulfill
themsalves
Correct your spelling
themselves
. These
people
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,
for example
Linking Words
, have a great enjoyment out of completing the Rubic Cubes, all
kidns
Correct your spelling
kinds
of Maze, and so on. I believe that
these action
Change the determiner
this action
these actions
show examples
may have
avdverse
Correct your spelling
adverse
effects on their family's economy, because they buy these
products
Use synonyms
more than really they worth.
On the other hand
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, other
people
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who
are believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that
this
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pruchasing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
of high-tech electronic
products
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should be done
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a specific
time
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, because
this
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helps them to spend
lower
Correct word choice
less
show examples
money on that and get what they want
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
this
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field
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
reasonable
prices
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.
As a result
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of the branding of manufacturers, these
products
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have
prices
Use synonyms
and when they want to
lunch
Correct your spelling
launch
show examples
the flagship
products
Use synonyms
they spend more money on advertising and
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
their product
prices
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for releasing
time
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, and if
this
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time
Use synonyms
over at least almost 1 to 2 weeks they have to decrease their
prices
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in search of get the mass amount of buyers.
This
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time
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second group of
people
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go to buy. In conclusion, there are almost two kinds of
people
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, the first one, buy technological
products
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because of their emotion in the instant releasing
time
Use synonyms
,
whereas
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others are
pationt
Correct your spelling
patient
for a
while
Linking Words
to bargain
time
Use synonyms
arive
Correct your spelling
arrive
. I strongly agree with the latter opinion and I will do in
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
occasion.
Submitted by mohsenakhlaghiplc on

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language
Work on sentence structure to avoid awkward phrasing and to ensure your ideas are clearly and easily understood. Paying attention to punctuation and grammar can also help in improving clarity.
coherence
Try enhancing coherence by logically linking your ideas with transitions. Words like 'however,' 'furthermore,' and 'on the other hand' can guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or anecdotes to vividly illustrate your points. This can enhance both task achievement and the engagement level of your writing.
structure
You've effectively structured your essay with a clear introduction and conclusion. This strengthens the reader's understanding and demonstrates good organizational skills.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
conclusion
The conclusion clearly states your personal opinion, wrapping up your arguments neatly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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