IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of international applicants to the universities of one European country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of international applicants to the universities of one European country. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#applicants #universities #european #country #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph illustrates the average proportion of international
students
Use synonyms
 applying
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
a universities
Correct the article-noun agreement
universities
a university
show examples
 in one of the
region
Change to a plural noun
regions
show examples
 of Europe, commencing from 2004 to 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that most
applicants
Use synonyms
 were from China,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest were from Russia. It can
also
Linking Words
 be noted that the number of
students
Use synonyms
 from the USA pursuing international studies showed an
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a stable number of
applicants
Use synonyms
 can be observed from Japan. In detail, over 25,000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Chinese people submitted their applications for
interantional
Correct your spelling
international
 studies in Europe:
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 slowly decreased in the following years and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 unchanged in 2006 and 2007 at more than 15,000 and ended at exactly 15,000 in 2008.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
US
Correct quantifier usage
number of US
show examples
students
Use synonyms
opted
Correct pronoun usage
who opted
show examples
 to study in Europe started at more than 10,000
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 gradually increased every year, and peaked
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 more than 25,000
applicants
Use synonyms
 in 2008. Looking more at the bar graph, Japanese international
Use synonyms
students
Change the noun form
student
show examples
applicants
Use synonyms
 remained stable for four consecutive years from 20004 to 2007 at less than 10, 000 and rose to 10, 000 in 2008,
while
Linking Words
 Russian
applicants
Use synonyms
 accounted
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 less than 5000 throughout the given period.
Submitted by roycelparaiso on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, applicants with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: