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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The cost of living is higher in many countries. What are the effects of higher prices on individuals and society? What is the best way for people to deal with this problem?

#cost #countries #effects #prices #individuals #society #people
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In recent years, the
cost
Use synonyms
 of living become higher in some countries , which can have a negative effect on the quality of life , especially safety , therefor the most effective way to address
this
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 issue is to have a second income .
To begin
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 with , when the prices and
cost
Use synonyms
 of living are higher
then
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 the level of satisfaction becomes lower which leads to negative consequences
such
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 as the rate of crimes increasing significantly because
this
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 is the easiest way for
people
Use synonyms
 to survive even though they know there are punishments.
As a result
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, society becomes dangerous for living as well and individuals could feel uncomfortable and safe in their land ,
for instance
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 , New York is known as an expensive city in the world so the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who commit crimes is higher compared to other cities in the USA
due to
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 the
cost
Use synonyms
 of living . With regard to the best way to handle
this
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 phenomenon is to create a second income to afford the highest prices for schools ,shops and health care ,
for example
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, through technology
people
Use synonyms
 can find enormous opportunities to establish their own businesses like selling some products or working in the content industry . Which can help them build a safe and good environment for each other and their kids
in particular
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 .
In addition
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 to that the government have to stand and listen to
people
Use synonyms
's demands in order to avoid future problems . In conclusion ,
people
Use synonyms
 can struggle with their lives or find safe areas to live
due to
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 the
cost
Use synonyms
 of living causes multiple issues,
however
Linking Words
, there are huge opportunities related to technology to live high-quality life without any risks
Submitted by rwnalanezi on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph develops a single clear idea, supported with relevant details.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph transitions for smoother flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Refine sentence structures to improve clarity and coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the question, discussing effects and solutions related to the cost of living.
coherence cohesion
Overall structure with clear introduction and conclusion is maintained.
task achievement
The example of New York is effective in illustrating the relationship between high living costs and crime rates.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cost of living
  • higher prices
  • financial burden
  • quality of life
  • social inequality
  • disposable income
  • poverty rates
  • cost-saving measures
  • skills and education
  • sustainable lifestyles
  • alternative lifestyles
  • government policies
  • government regulations
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