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Writing Samples
Band 8

47.The table below shows the worldwide market share of notebook computer manufacturers in the year 2006, 2007 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

47.The table below shows the worldwide market share of notebook computer manufacturers in the year 2006, 2007 and 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The table gives information about the global
market
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 share of the notebook computing
market
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 for 7 companies in the period 2006 and 2007 .
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 ,
it is clear That
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the highest share
market
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 was HP in 2006 and 2007 ,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the lowest could be seen in Fujitsu-Siemens . the other companies were in the middle with different changes. In 2006 the highest amount of shares
were
Change the verb form
was

The plural verb were does not appear to agree with the singular subject amount. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
 in HP around 31.4 and Dell came next with 16.6 shares both remained at the top in 2007 with a
significantly
Change the adverb
significant

It appears that the adverb significantly is attempting to modify the noun increase. Consider replacing the adverb with an adjective.

show examples
 increase to 34 in HP and 20.0 in Dell which went up about 4 per cent,
in contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Fujitus-siemens was the lowest in both years in 2006 about 4.8 and decreased dramatically to 2.3 . With regard to Acer the
market
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 share shows around 11.6 in 2006 and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 in 2007 dropped slightly to 10.7 ,
on the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Toshiba was roughly 6.2 in 2006 and in 2007 climbed to 7.3 as opposed to Acer . Regarding Lenovo stayed stable in 2006 with 6.6 shares and declined to 6.2

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Vocabulary: Replace the words market with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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