People in all modern societies use drugs, but today’s youth are experimenting with both legal and illegal drugs, and at an increasingly early age. Some sociologists claim that parents and other members of society often set a bad example. Discuss the causes and some effects of widespread drug use by young people in modern day society.
#people #societies #drugs #today’s #youth #age #sociologists #parents #members #society #effects #drug
In my view
drug
are Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
really
big problem for all countries. Young Correct article usage
a really
people
are experimenting with both legal and illegal Use synonyms
drugs
Use synonyms
Change preposition
at usead
usead
early age. One major cause of bad examples for teenagers like social media, Correct your spelling
an
parents
, movies and very Use synonyms
infulence
popular culture. Another problem government does not have Correct your spelling
influence
influenced
a good solutions
.
Young Correct the article-noun agreement
a good solution
good solutions
people
in some societies Use synonyms
effect tried
their first time using Wrong verb form
try
drugs
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if
first Correct word choice
apply
using
Verb problem
apply
than
more Correct your spelling
then
using
young Verb problem
apply
people
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be
addicted to Wrong verb form
are
drugs
. Use synonyms
Drugs
affect mental, social,financial and health Use synonyms
big
problems in life. Academic or work life Correct word choice
apply
not
good because not focused on work or studying because not awake and always on Add a missing verb
is not
drugs
use cycle.
Use synonyms
If live
with families has other issues but that's Wrong verb form
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advantage
for youth Add an article
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fast
know to Rephrase
to quickly
parents
and find a solution. Very hard to do addicted Use synonyms
people
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parents
and addicted young and Use synonyms
this
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time affected Linking Words
parents
and addicted Use synonyms
person
.Fix the agreement mistake
people
Submitted by hasanckmk236 on
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task achievement
The essay presents a clear main idea about the issue of drug use among youth; however, it can be enhanced by more explicitly connecting the causes and effects in a logical sequence.
coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from a clearer structure with defined paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should address a single point and flow logically to the next.
task achievement
To strengthen the clarity of ideas, consider expanding on each point with more detailed examples or explanations. This will help in making the ideas more comprehensive and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Try to include a conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed in the essay. This will help wrap up the discussion and reinforce the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the use of transition words to link ideas between sentences and paragraphs to improve the essay's coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses an important issue regarding drug use among youth, which is a relevant and significant topic in today's society.
task achievement
The writer correctly identifies some causes of drug experimentation, such as the influence of social media, parents, and popular culture.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.