The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#people #states #time #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The line chart presented illustrates leisure activities seniors participated in in the United States over the 3 decades from the 1980s.

Overall

Linking Words

, the amount of time spent

Change preposition

apply

show examples

reading, visiting a

theatre

Use synonyms

, watching

Use synonyms

, and surfing the net fluctuated across the presented time period,

while

Linking Words

hiking is the only one that rose steadily throughout. In the 1990s, the popularity of reading, watching

Use synonyms

, browsing the internet, and hiking increased.

With the

Change preposition

The

show examples

first 3 activities inched upwards by around 5-10%, and hiking rose significantly by one-fifth.

However

Linking Words

theatre

Use synonyms

is the only one that dipped by 20%. In the 2000s, watching

Use synonyms

, hiking, and internet browsing continued to grow,

while

Linking Words

reading dipped by a significant 20%.

In contrast

Linking Words

theatre

Use synonyms

regained popularity, with its numbers

slid

Wrong verb form

sliding

show examples

up by 10%. In the 2010s, hiking and

theatre

Use synonyms

continued with

Remove the article

apply

show examples

relatively steady growth,

while

Linking Words

surfing the net and reading spiked, with an increase of around 35-40%.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, watching

Use synonyms

slid downwards by roughly 5%.

Submitted by josefacheang on Mon Jan 13 2025

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words theatre, tv with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "dipped" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slid" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

162 words

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The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Topic: Creative artists should be given the freedom to express their ideas through words, pictures, music, or films. Some people, nevertheless, think that the government should restrict artists' freedom of expression. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What are the reasons for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

Some people think young people are not suitable for important position in the government while other people think it is a good idea for young people to take on the positions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think governments should spend less money on arts and invest more in education. How far do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep? Give reasons for your answer