IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries around the world rural people are moving to cities so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The
population
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 of
countryside
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the countryside
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 is decreasing because most of their
people
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 are moving to the cities. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development, because it may lead to
agricultural
Correct article usage
an agricultural
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 crisis and problems with labour. Agriculture plays
significant
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a significant
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 role for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most of the countries, providing food and developing
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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. Rural
areas
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 are the biggest source of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern agricultural resources and local
people
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 moving to cities may affect it negatively.
This
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 happens because
decrease
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the decrease
a decrease
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 of those
areas
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 will lower the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of potential workers, leading to job shortages and
fall
Correct article usage
a fall
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 in
overall
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 yield. The prime example is Kazakhstan, where annual agricultural output
have
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has
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 decreased dramatically in the
last
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 decade
due to
Linking Words
 more
people
Use synonyms
 relocating to urban
areas
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. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, it had
devastating
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a devastating
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 effect on
economy
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the economy
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 of the country, since the production and export rates have diminished. Populating urban
areas
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instead
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 of the rural ones can
also
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 cause problems with
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
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. Cities usually have issues with the lack of jobs,
while
Linking Words
 the countryside
face
Correct subject-verb agreement
faces
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 issues with scarcity of employees.
Peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
People
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 relocating actions,
on the other hand
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, would worsen both of these problems without benefiting
country
Correct article usage
the country
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 same as citizens.
For example
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, recent studies in Russia show that if
people
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will
Verb problem
do
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 not stop moving to urban
areas
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 the problem of unemployment will rise up by 17% in the next 15 years. It will serve as a huge
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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 burden, leaving
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population
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the population
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 without jobs and
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
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 without workers. In conclusion, the decrease in the
population
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 of rural
areas
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 will not only weaken
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
 agriculture and economy
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 lower citizen’s quality of life.

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task response
While the essay provides relevant content and examples, consider adding more varied examples and discussing both sides of the argument for a more balanced view.
task response
Ensure all ideas are fully expanded and explained to clarify their relevance and contribution to the main argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider connecting ideas more seamlessly to enhance the natural flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that help to frame the discussion effectively.
task response
You have addressed the task effectively by discussing the negative impacts of the phenomenon.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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