Some people think that the best way to broaden young people’s understanding of the world is to encourage them to travel to other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What other measure do you think might be effective?

#people #people’s #world #travel #countries #measure

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Nowadays, public concern regarding youngsters

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

to be supported in visiting other nations becomes topical since some individuals believe that

this

Linking Words

is a window for improving their global knowledge.

Change preposition

In to

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response

Replace the word

respond

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Linking Words

this

Change preposition

to this

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aforementioned issue, I significantly agree that

this

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advice is beneficial for

adolescenes

Correct your spelling

adolescents

adolescence

related to improving

kowledge

Correct your spelling

knowledge

and skills. Travelling

abrod

Correct your spelling

abroad

give

Verb problem

has

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some positive impacts

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younger people who want to deepen their understanding globally.

Firstly

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, living outside their countries contributes a broad perspective about different systems applied.

For instance

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, individuals gaining

opportunity

Add an article

the opportunity

an opportunity

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to stay for several days can be exposed

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show examples

the

advance

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advanced

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transportation system.

This

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experience is essential to give ideas for

leveling

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levelling

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up current transportation modes.

In addition

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, having

transaction

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transactions

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with locals by purchasing some needs and wants opens their eyes about what goods or services have to be supported by producers.

Hence

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this

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information can be used for building a new business with

the

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competitive price and better quality. Not only the updated information can be absorbed, but the

cruciall

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crucial

skills

also

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can be learnt

while

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participating in travel abroad.

This

Linking Words

is because travellers have to conversate in

english

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English

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on a daily basis, as English is the universal language.

Thus

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, the level of speaking and listening ability will increase without putting much effort compared to studying

this

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subject in

the

Correct article usage

apply

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school.

Moreover

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, enriching new vocabularies can be done

easier

Rephrase

more easily

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when pupils directly apply words

into

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their practical actions. To sum

pup

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show examples

, having experience in

visit

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visiting

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other countries has a positive development for

adolescenes

Correct your spelling

adolescents

adolescence

in raising global useful information and

sharping

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sharpening

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linguistic

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

Submitted by wiwitrahayu.ptplnnp on Mon Jan 13 2025

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task response

Work on refining your introduction to clearly present your thesis statement. A concise introduction helps set clear expectations for the reader. Additionally, ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence related to the task statement.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph flows logically with clear transitions between ideas. Consider using linking words or phrases to show connections between ideas and different parts of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.

task response

The discussion of how traveling can improve understanding and skills is well addressed with logical examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Some people think that the best way to broaden young people’s understanding of the world is to encourage them to travel to other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What other measure do you think might be effective?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messages?