In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #enrol #university #situation

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There is a growing trend to become an employee in the company compared to pursuing a degree in college among Generation Z. In

this

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essay, I will explain both pros and cons

as well as

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my opinion on

this

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notion.

However

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, I believe the disadvantages exceed the advantages of

this

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issue.

To begin

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with, there are several benefits to being an employee.

Firstly

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, an individual gets real-life work experiences and many lectures do not offer

this

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activity since they only teach theoretical skills in the class.

This

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person

also

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obtained income which is very valuable knowledge to help them become more independent.

Besides

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that, young people will be more responsible for managing their own money

due to

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their recognizing the hard work that they put in from their full-time jobs.

On the other hand

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, it can create drawbacks.

For example

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, the majority of workers intend to achieve a higher position each year,

thus

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, it creates strong competition among them.

Consequently

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, the environment for creating new friends is unsuitable in the workplace.

In addition

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, the unhealthy culture of the company can lead to stress for young generations since they do not have friends who are willing to accompany them in hard times.

Then

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, if they decide to switch careers, it will be hard to find other opportunities

due to

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their not having equivalent degrees from the job requirement. In conclusion, I believe young people should balance between academic areas and professional experiences.

Therefore

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, they can leverage quality from the college by acquiring more friends and theoretical areas.

However

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, an individual can

also

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join an internship when they have free time to enhance their working experiences.

Submitted by firly on Mon Jan 13 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance the logical structure of your essay, consider using more varied conjunctions and transitional phrases to explicitly connect your paragraphs and ideas. This will help guide the reader more smoothly from one point to the next.

Task Achievement

Incorporate more specific examples or anecdotes that can help illustrate your points. Personal or familiar experiences can make your essay more persuasive and relatable.

Task Achievement

Try to elaborate more on each point with additional details or explanations, ensuring that your ideas are fully developed and comprehensive.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have structured your essay logically, presenting both the advantages and disadvantages before giving your opinion.

Task Achievement

You provide a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-based training
enrol
university
advantages
disadvantages
practical skills
experience
workforce
employment
earnings
opportunities
further education
theoretical knowledge
career options
exploitation
balance

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In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You want to complain about the service you received in the hotel you stayed in while attending a recent meeting. Write a letter to the person who organised the meeting in you letter 1) Describe the meeting 2) Explain the prblems with the service 3) suggest what the meeting organiser should do

Working parents strive to achieve a balance between career and family, but only a few manage to achieve it. What is the reason according to you? Discuss possible solutions and provide examples.

Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Opinions on food are changing rapidly and there are many who believe that everyone should follow a vegetarian diet because it would have a positive impact on our health and the environment. Do you agree or disagree?

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?