Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think there is a better way to spend it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many cosmetics and cutting
people
like to spend cash to look better by buying modern clothes,Use synonyms
Correct word choice
and
Correct pronoun usage
their hairs
hairs
in Fix the agreement mistake
hair
modern
style. Some Correct article usage
a modern
people
Use synonyms
argues
that developing Change the verb form
argue
appereance
is the right way to spend on Correct your spelling
appearance
while
others insist on spending Linking Words
money
on different things. In my opinion, cash should be spent on different things rather than social looking.
On the one hand, Use synonyms
somebody
think that Correct your spelling
some
good
Correct article usage
a good
appereance
can give Correct your spelling
appearance
person
more opportunities.Add an article
a person
the person
Therefore
, they are dedicated to Linking Words
spend
more proportion of their bank account Change the verb form
spending
for
Change preposition
on
the
good-looking clothes and Correct article usage
apply
visit
barbers to get stylish hair. Wrong verb form
visiting
For instance
, most Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
the
job interviews start Correct article usage
apply
from
looking Change preposition
by
to
the shape of Change preposition
at
future
Add an article
the future
a future
employee
to determine whether Fix the agreement mistake
employees
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
recieves
Correct your spelling
receive
workplace
or not. As Correct article usage
a workplace
the
result, Correct article usage
a
people
Use synonyms
tries
to meet the Change the verb form
try
requirments
and and follow Correct your spelling
requirements
latest
fashion style.
Correct article usage
the latest
On the other hand
, some individuals focus on not spending too much Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
for
fashion, Change preposition
on
instead
, they will invest that Linking Words
money
to learn new skills or language. Isn't it more logical to focus on the result rather than the processUse synonyms
.
Change the punctuation
?
In other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
words,
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
people
are looking for Use synonyms
the
more opportunities by themselves and achieving Correct article usage
apply
it
through Correct pronoun usage
them
money
very fast. To Use synonyms
site
an example, wealthy Correct your spelling
cite
people
Use synonyms
soend
their Correct your spelling
spend
money
to get educated and enhance Use synonyms
human's
life aspect which can affect Change noun form
human
other
and help them. Fix the agreement mistake
others
MOst
Correct your spelling
Most
possible
Correct word choice
likely
consequences
Fix the agreement mistake
consequence
are
saving Correct subject-verb agreement
is
sense
of humanity in society if every person will not spend good-potential Correct article usage
the sense
money
to Use synonyms
posses
beauty and attention.
In conclusion, many families think that Correct your spelling
possess
ourchasing
new products for Correct your spelling
purchasing
beuty
may increase luck and attention Correct your spelling
beauty
whereas
others think that cash should Linking Words
be spend
to increase Change the verb form
be spent
be spending
level
of awareness and Add an article
the level
result
.
Fix the agreement mistake
results
However
, everyone has their own reasons for belief but, in my point of view, Linking Words
Add an article
the fund
a fund
fund
should be spent on enhancing Fix the agreement mistake
funds
the
human conditions and Correct article usage
apply
Correct your spelling
solve
sove
global problemsCorrect your spelling
solving
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next by using consistent linking words and phrases. This will tie various sections of your essay together more effectively.
task achievement
In order to improve task achievement, elaborate more on your points with detailed examples or explanations. For instance, explain why investing in education or technology instead of appearance might lead to better long-term outcomes.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents both sides of the argument regarding spending money on appearance versus other purposes, which ensures a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively present and concise, setting the stage for the discussion and wrapping it up neatly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.