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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the number of international applicants to the universities of one European country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the number of international applicants to the universities of one European country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#applicants #universities #european #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar graph displays the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of international
applicants
Use synonyms
 to the universities of
China
Use synonyms
 ,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 ,
Jaban
Correct your spelling
Japan
, and
Russia
Use synonyms
 in 2004 and 2008 .
overall
Linking Words
,
China
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 international
applicants
Use synonyms
 in 2004 , but in 2008
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
china
Use synonyms
 was second
bigger
Correct word choice
biggest
show examples
than
Change preposition
among
show examples
 all
countries
Use synonyms
 . USA was more than
Use synonyms
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
russia
Change the capitalization
Russia
show examples
 in 2004 ,
however
Linking Words
 in 2008
American
Replace the word
America
show examples
 biggest
one
Use synonyms
 of all
countries
Use synonyms
 .
China
Use synonyms
 and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States were increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of international
applicants
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 universities .
Use synonyms
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 was 27,000 highest
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in all
countries
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2004 to 2005 , but in 2006
Use synonyms
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 was stable with
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 .
The
Correct article usage
China
show examples
china
Use synonyms
 was 15,500 falling gradually
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2007 to 2008 .
American
Correct your spelling
America
show examples
 was second higher about 13,000 in 2004 ,
while
Linking Words
 it
was increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 gradually
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2005 to 2007 ,
however
Linking Words
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States was 28,000 a higher
one
Use synonyms
 in all
countrise
Correct your spelling
countries
 in 2008 .
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
Russia
Use synonyms
 were lowest of the number of international
applicants
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 universities .
Use synonyms
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
 was 7,000 drop in 2004 ,but it was still 7,000
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2004 to 2006 .
japan
Use synonyms
was rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 steadily in 2007 and 2008 and it
was be
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 10,000 . The
Russia
Use synonyms
 was lowest
one
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all
countries
Use synonyms
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2004 to 2007
a
Correct pronoun usage
it a
show examples
just under 3,000 ,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
russia
Change the capitalization
Russia
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rise
steadliy
Correct your spelling
steadily
steady
about
Change preposition
to about
show examples
 4,000
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 year.
Submitted by mayham409 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words applicants, china, russia, countries, japan, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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