🔶In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. 🔸What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#🔶in #cultures #children #🔸what #message

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, some young individuals are raised to believe that if they work hard, they can achieve anything they think of. For many parents, especially perfectionists, pushing their kids to work harder than they did not do in their own time is considered a norm when raising one. Despite several advantages to bringing up children accustomed to harsh conditions, there are still major drawbacks to

this

Linking Words

lifestyle that can not be overlooked.

To begin

Linking Words

with advantages, one of the major plus points of

this

Linking Words

parenting is that someone who is told that hard work is the only key to their dream will grow up to be ambitious.

For instance

Linking Words

, they will pursue dreams that many people give up on them in their thoughts.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, they would considerably opt for the highest level in every aspect of their lives. Because they are already capable of handling and surviving a harsh environment, unlike their peers, their chance of having a better life in the future is higher.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are some significant drawbacks to discuss. Even though working hard builds up the character of children, it often poses serious problems. Being under pressure can adversely impact your mental health, drive you crazy and lead you to the way to hate those who put you in

this

Linking Words

situation. Lately, scientists argue that the chances of those who were placed under too much pressure in their childhood considerably increasing to become mentally ill, and obviously,

this

Linking Words

parenting method would probably put adolescents'

overall

Linking Words

health at hazard. In conclusion, there are clearly both pros and cons to pushing children to their limits.

While

Linking Words

building up a strict and strong personality who can get whatever they want leads to a better lifestyle, it puts many of them in potential danger of losing their minds.

Therefore

Linking Words

, a balanced method with other types of parenting to educate individuals on how to follow their hearts may be a better option.

Submitted by Ali Davoodi on Mon Jan 13 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

To improve task response, consider adding more detailed examples to further illustrate your points.

task response

Ensure clarity by occasionally providing counter-arguments or addressing potential counterpoints, which would enhance depth.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, make sure to use a variety of linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

task response

You have successfully addressed the task, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of the statement.

coherence cohesion

Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, framing your argument effectively.

coherence cohesion

The main points are supported, maintaining a logical flow throughout your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
self-esteem
confidence
obstacles
ambitious goals
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
stress
burnout
external factors
socio-economic status
resources
opportunities

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
An increasing number of individuals today opt to live alone, particularly in the large cities of developed countries. Although some people believe that living alone can have some positive effects, I favour those who consider this trend to have a negative impact on society.
6
band
A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/ unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter: * explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the museum * describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful * give details of when you would be available for work
I writing this letter to you because I found in our local shop your advertisement for a voluntary job such as security or waiter. My name is Kim and I cover the local community and protect businesses in our suburb. Due to this situation, I would like to support by me and help to solve this problem.
6.5
band
In many countries people of all ages do sports and exercises a lot. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvanatges? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience and knowledge.
In this modern world, exercise and sports have become an integral part of many countries lifestyle. Some believe that time spent on such activities has no major advantages, as it wastes their time and hampers productivity. However, based on my experience, I believe that all these physical activity trends have huge advantages as they promote a healthy life.
7.5
band
You are writing to an old family friend to ask him/her to attend your birthday party. Write a letter to invite your friend and: • Tell your friend about the party you are having for your birthday • Explain how important it is for you that he/she attends • Suggest that your friend can stay at the hotel next to the venue during the visit
How have you been? I missed the wonderful time we had together at the school. I thought I throw a birthday party on 21 June and I wish to attend this party. This party will be held at White Venue on Ka Street. This party is my 30th birthday and it has a sentimental value for me. In addition, I believe it would be a tremendous experience for both of us.
6
band
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some crowds have a perspective that announcements lure us to purchase goods that are not of necessity. But, others are of the view that advertising enlightens us of new developments which might ameliorate our lives. I strongly agree that ads motivate consumers to buy unwanted things.

🔶In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. 🔸What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays​ ​than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries people of all ages do sports and exercises a lot. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvanatges? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience and knowledge.

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?