IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

An increasing number of professionals, such as, teachers and doctors are leaving their own countries to work in developed countries. What are the causes of this problems? What solutions can you suggest?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 few years, numerous people, even including teachers
physicians
Correct word choice
and physicians
show examples
 migrated
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the sake of their betterment and personal development. Undoubtedly, there must be a lot of
of
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
reasons
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 moving
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 other countries, and we will discuss some solutions to mitigate the migration. The first and foremost reason behind going to foreign is
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
show examples
 rate in our area, which does not let the talented once to have an option to work in their own city. Apart from that, other issues
such
Linking Words
 as nepotism and brines
also
Linking Words
 push the professionals to leave their own homes because they want to recruit their own kiths and
kins
Fix the agreement mistake
kin
show examples
 which reflects to keep the developing countries developing only not the developed ones. in order to get rid of
this
Linking Words
 problem,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employers must hire people on the basis of their
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
,
experience
Correct word choice
and experience
show examples
 rather than references only.
not
Capitalize word
Not
show examples
 only
this
Linking Words
, some strict actions should be taken by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to help the deserving candidates to join the positions
according to
Linking Words
 their studies and other factors
such
Linking Words
 as their practice and placements.
For instance
Linking Words
, there was a survey in Istanbul that in 2019, more than 60% of the population moved
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad for their work, but the authorities had to bring those people back. To
some
Correct your spelling
sum
show examples
 up, Masd would prefer those areas to work where they would get paid more.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 my page, the issues can be fixed by implementing some restrictive rules.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the argument and logically leads to the next point to enhance the flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen the argument and illustrate your points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify and expand the introduction and conclusion to reinforce how they connect with the main points discussed.
Task Achievement
The essay attempts to address both causes and solutions, fulfilling the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical sequence of information is maintained to some extent, helping the reader follow the ideas.
Task Achievement
The essay presents an insightful problem and suggests a practical solution regarding employment practices.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: