Some people think that parents have the greatest influence on their child´s academic development, while others think that a child´s teacher has more influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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Recently, the issue of whether
academic
Correct article usage
the academic
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development of children is influenced by their
parents
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or
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teacher
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teachers
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has become the subject of heated debate. Some people assert that
parents
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have the greatest
influence
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on their
children’s
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academic development,
while
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others argue
otherwise
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. I wholeheartedly agree with the former stand. In the following essay, both views will be discussed before a conclusion is reached with my opinion. On the one hand, those who claim that a
children’s
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teacher
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has the greatest
influence
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on their
children’s
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academic achievement do so for several reasons. Proponents of
this
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argument insist that children follow their
teacher
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well. To be more specific,
Use synonyms
teacher
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teachers
show examples
sometimes become a role-model that students want identical. Another argument is that students spend time of their daily in school more than their home with
Use synonyms
parents
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their parents
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, especially
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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work in busy
field
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fields
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. My opinion,
however
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, is
child’s
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that children’s
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academic
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academics
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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more influenced by their
parents
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than their
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teacher
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teachers
show examples
. Perhaps the most compelling reason is that children spend time with family since they
were
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are
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baby
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babies
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.
Therefore
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, they
learned
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learn
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and copy unconsciously
behavior
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behaviour
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of their
parents
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.
For example
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, people form habitats from their
parents
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such
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as communicating skills and
step
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steps
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when they walk.
In addition
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, genetic
influence
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should not
ignore
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be ignored
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such
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as their intelligence and
moral
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morals
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. In conclusion, it is
deniable
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undeniable
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that there are a variety of opinions about
this
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topic.
However
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, after considering
this
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matte
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matter
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in a careful manner, I fully support the view that
parents
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have the greatest
influence
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on their
children’s
Use synonyms
academic development
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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Submitted by fdsajkloo on

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task achievement
Work on integrating examples more effectively to support your main points. Perhaps include examples of specific parental influences on academics, such as involvement in homework or encouragement.
task achievement
Consider expanding the analysis of why teachers might have a strong influence with more detail and examples to strengthen the counterargument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a logical flow in argumentation to improve coherence and cohesion. Link your ideas more clearly between and within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, helping the reader understand your standpoint.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion, presenting both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion, which is commendable for task response.
task achievement
The essay raises valid points, acknowledging genetic influences and the unconscious learning behaviors from parents.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic development
  • influence
  • nurturing environment
  • pedagogical methodologies
  • tailor teaching methods
  • individual learning needs
  • external perspectives
  • motivation
  • structured approach
  • peer interaction
  • social learning
  • collaboration skills
  • evaluate understanding
  • provide feedback
  • nurturing home environment
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