Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
oday
, more and more Correct your spelling
Today
children
are really into spending hours on their Use synonyms
smartphones
in their daily lives. Use synonyms
This
trend is common and popular in China. In my opinion, I support that young Linking Words
people
usually watching Use synonyms
phones
is not conducive to their growth and I disagree Use synonyms
children
always spend too much time on their electronic products.
Through the Use synonyms
development
of science and technology, there are many reasons cause young kids are attracted to their Use synonyms
phones
. Use synonyms
Due to
the Linking Words
development
of the Internet, young Use synonyms
people
using their Use synonyms
smartphones
to learn knowledge online become so popular. It will lead Use synonyms
children
to more and more relied on the website. Use synonyms
This
is the main need of Linking Words
children
for mobile Use synonyms
phones
in their daily lives. Some Use synonyms
children
always use their Use synonyms
smartphones
to chat with friends, play games, watch films, browse TiT ok and so on. Use synonyms
Children
have no resistance to their temptations. All of these are the reasons why Use synonyms
children
are into keeping too long on their Use synonyms
smartphones
.
Use synonyms
Children
usually spend hours on their Use synonyms
smartphones
is negative for their Use synonyms
health
. It will affect the body's Use synonyms
health
and mind's Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
development
. As far as we all know, Use synonyms
health
is the most important part of our lives. If Use synonyms
people
always spend hours on their Use synonyms
smartphones
, they will have less time to do sports. Use synonyms
This
trend will lead them to suffer from diseases Linking Words
such
as obesity ,lack of energy and so on. These diseases will affect their Linking Words
development
.
Use synonyms
In addition
, for a nation, young Linking Words
people
are the hope of our country. If the youth are addicted to the internet Use synonyms
instead
of studying hard, Our nation will lose its competitiveness and vitality. Linking Words
This
trend is not beneficial to Linking Words
development
.
In conclusion, young Use synonyms
people
can use Use synonyms
smartphones
to search the knowledge and messages, but they can not be addicted to them. Parents should control their time spent on mobile Use synonyms
phones
to build good habits.Use synonyms
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Task Response
Your essay gives a complete response to the task, covering both the reasons why children spend a lot of time on smartphones and evaluating whether it's positive or negative. However, try to give more specific examples to strengthen your points and make your arguments more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay generally flows logically and includes an introduction and conclusion, but there are moments where the sentences feel disconnected. Use linking words to better connect your ideas, such as "Firstly," "Moreover," and "Finally."
Structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your response well.
Task Response
You've shared a balanced view by explaining both the reasons why children might be on smartphones and why it might be negative, which shows a complete tackling of the prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.