Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is true that certain individuals imagine that employment happiness is more crucial than
job
Use synonyms
security,
whereas
Linking Words
others express that the latter is not always achievable;
instead
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
must pursue full-time work.
This
Linking Words
essay agrees with the first view that work satisfaction is more important. First and foremost,
it is clear that
Linking Words
many
people
Use synonyms
aspire to a workplace where they are free and happy. Employers that can guarantee these aspirations are highly likely to benefit the most from their employees , who will be more productive, innovative and creative. I agree with
this
Linking Words
line of thought because humans tend to invest time and effort in what they like the most. A good example is that of sporting individuals who usually remain behind to train outside of designated times.
This
Linking Words
way, sporting companies can benefit from both the passion and effort of the athletes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
, many disagree and feel that it is not always possible to get satisfactory conditions in employment. They argue that it is better to search for permanency than happiness.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
can be true, to a certain extent, I tend to disagree because
such
Linking Words
a
job
Use synonyms
will only lead to frustration, poor results, illness and premature unemployment.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study in the UK found that 60 per cent of the
people
Use synonyms
who held permanent positions reported struggles with mental health or other physical conditions
such
Linking Words
as stroke and back pain related to high degrees of work frustration and pressure. The research
also
Linking Words
assumed that only 20 per cent of these workers were likely to reach retirement age. In conclusion,
therefore
Linking Words
,
whereas
Linking Words
some
people
Use synonyms
think that they cannot always expect
job
Use synonyms
satisfaction, and
thus
Linking Words
a permanent
job
Use synonyms
is more important,
this
Linking Words
essay disagrees with
this
Linking Words
view and argues that
such
Linking Words
jobs will be full of frustrations and sorrow.
Instead
Linking Words
, it is better to pursue employee happiness as it comes with freedom, productivity, creativity and innovation.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task response: State your view clearly at the start and end with a clear opinion. Add a short plan in the intro so the reader knows what you will discuss.
task response
Task response: Give more strong reasons and real, simple facts to back up ideas. Use easy examples that fit the topic.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: Use linking words in a steady way. Keep ideas in clear order: para 1 for the view, para 2 for the opposite, para 3 for your own view.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: Check long sentences. Break long sentences into two or three shorter ones for ease of reading.
task response
The essay shows a clear position by the end.
coherence
There is a good overall structure: intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence
Examples are used to support points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job
  • work
  • happy
  • enjoy
  • like
  • feel good
  • safe
  • steady
  • money
  • pay
  • income
  • plan
  • life
  • family
  • health
  • stress
  • risk
  • grow
  • learn
  • skill
  • future
  • balance
  • choice
  • option
  • example
  • in my view
  • on the other hand
  • therefore
  • early
  • later
What to do next:
Look at other essays: